it was the last straw.....
one thing lead to another...
i just don't see anything that i can look forward to anymore....
NOTHING is dere when i wake up, NOTHING is there when i sleep....
i don't see the point in living anymore...
i prayed, hoped god wld take my life.....
but HE didn't.....
maybe he doesn't love me tt much....
to take my life away for me to return to him...
yea i guess dying is the easy way out....
i just feel like giving up in everything, nothing seems to work out anymore....

i don't have any more confidence anymore in doing anything....

i wish there was someone i could really depend upon....

i dont noe wads bothering me so much.......

it really was the last straw....

i want to give up

and i want to go HOME.

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 11:00:00 pm:.
...
i finally cut my hair. my head feels lighter.somehwat.eye check-up also done.eye condition has improved.back to contacts.

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 6:27:00 pm:.
...
i noe its just a dugaan from god above.....someone please give me the confidence i used to have in me.....I tell you, but would u understand? you havent been in my position where EVERYTHING has DETERIORATED in my life....why is everything crashing O.N.EbyO.N.E? my studies, my life, netball, my FAMILY....yea as u can see i had a bad day....which is not so unusual considering the fact tt i haf had bad days these past few days.......its just tt will people stop whining?! if they dont have anything else they want, at least they have their family behind their backs.......why cant my life be like a normal average teenage gurl life where if i had a bad day at least i could go home, knowing there's food awaiting on the table, and mama wld be there just being there to ask hey how was your day or smth? why must i be dumb not speaking a single word as if im living alone in the house? oh god........yea i just want to have a normal life....mebbi its just a bad day which is why im feeling so rotten....sometimes i feel like god is picking on me......why izzit tt sum ppl were just born to get the perfect life while others have to work hard to get a perfect life or mebbi even never get one? its unfair it truly is.....somehow, deep down inside of me mebbi all i want to do is just to find the special thing tt everyone says each person has....they always say "every human being is made special, they have their own special talents" I just want to find mine, so tt i can seek solace into in when im feeling down...so tt i can stand up and say tt yes i am special no matter what i have this talent.... but i cant now coz i dont noe what it is or mebbi even i dont have it.......i feel so lost.

i dont know what to say about today's training...except tt in the end, ultimately its the game tt matters.....coz we've worked so hard for it......i BELIEVE that the main 7 tt is put on court will play their best and they are the best people to be put in...i BELIEVE that the tkgs b division team will make it all the way to bedok sports hall.....i BELIEVE that YOU will play your best for the team and for urself....i BELIEVE that each and every 7 player on court DESERVE their position as they have worked hard for it.....i BELIEVE in you, so do your best in the upcoming games........

it feels better being able to 'talk' it out................
why must we be so greedy when in the end all tt happens is our life ends...what matters most is tt the life after death where tt is eternity...coz life is NOT eternity...

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 8:36:00 pm:.
...
today was my last day working at macdonalds...at least i think so...teared in the bus on the way back...was juz being so emotional thinking of all the ups and downs tt i went thru while working at macs..............................


i remember nearing my bdae in 2002 i went to kal mac for an interview...dont realli remember why i actually wanted a job, probably to just meet more friends, life was tuff den ( and i must say now too) yea..started work, as a suku lobby gurl...met friends such as nordin, norizad, mohammad and HIDAYAH! hehe....oh well, they were about to resign aniwae...den met as i worked more often got closer to them - weijie, trovine, desmond, thama, dee, marie, suet lin, hamidah, sazali, jasman.....many more...sch started, worked with minhui every fri and sat...missed nike training just for work...hahz....yea earned money i realli missed those days when after school i wld go take 16 and wrk with minhui and we wld pray tt we'de be dng counter together and not lobby...hahz....yea i'll realli miss the ups and downs i had there... the crew outings all the managers even the aunties and uncles working there! sigh...all the fun and tears i had there, the laughter, babigurl's jokes and singing, suet lin the loudspeaker.......man, i wish i cld bring back those days.... the time when customers were pleased at my services, or the even i remember this certain customer that got me crying that day... haish....hahaz....yea it was the tears, the laughter the smiles the fun i had there that had crought me so devoted to kallang macs and the people working there....i'll realli miss the BIG 1,2,3 "hi, welcome to macdonalds" and the "thank you see you again!" greetings when customers come in and out of macs respectively.....tt was nice...... i'll miss all the parties tt i topcat to....faisal's parties haha.....deeivya's parties, hidayah's party where at her party we'll be so exctied everytime she's the star and i'm the topcat...i remember i did drive-thru once onli haha and it was great..neva did kitchen before tho i wish i did.....basically did counter...i'll miss those BIG events where there 'll be large crowds...how can i forget? NATIONAL DAY last year when i painted my face, met danial, sold drinks to people gg to the stadium and giving out flyers...tt was great...and how can i forget ?! the picnics we the teens working at kal. have at the backyard near the party room...where we bring all the food and just chil and relax.....
oh ya plus the number of crushes tt i had secretly while working at macs...ahakz....notty me...neva told them tho'..
heh...aniwae, i'll miss the management team too...samuel, shannon, wati, weitiong, ivan, william, pauline, bruce....... i feel im at a loss quitting macs...all the fun there...well, of coz there was stress and anger and more STRESS....but hey tt's wad every job has wad....but the people there they juz make ur day....i'll miss them, they were great friends.... yea...i hope we'll keep in touch but now i gotta resign to concentrate on other important stuff...
before i left, shannon told me something tt it was good i was quitting to concentrate on my studies....she told me about her story while she was a teenager tt she worked macs to part-time...her dream was to bcome a lawyer but she neva did...she went back to macs to work coz she was too playful and din study and online managed to scrap thru..... she told me, studying i smore important...i guez it is, ultimately tt is....work is just part-time for me, at least now...tho' i need the money...her advise helped me to leave kal mac with a not so heavy heart...
working at kallang mac has been a great experience...it made me more mature, it realli did....i noe its hard to earn money...and it feels great earning ur own money, it does.....i'll miss all the people there......even the ususal customers tt recognise me sumtimes.......i'll miss saying "milo low!" or, "apple pie zero" or, " pc, i need one filet plain!" i'll miss giving out balloons to little kids, miss the sixty seconda challenge where i'd rush here and there to serve customers within sixty seconds....i'll miss making ice-creams, stocking up......gg to the crew room chilling out there....oh ya how can i forget FREE macdonald food....
i gotta budget...now tt i'm not working, money's gonna be tight.....real tight....haish...gotta start saving up again....like i didnt start already....



kallang macdonald is no ordinary macdonald to me, it was more of a second home to me, where i could laugh, cry smile, feel sad, get angry or wadever there....it was where the experience i felt was so amazing and where great friends were.....mebbi i'll go back to work there one day.....at least maybe.....maybe....

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 11:27:00 pm:.

yea and so its the sunday......dint follow them to go out visiting...wish i went, would take my mind off things.... watever la shall go work again and do parties...least the little kids there would put a smile to my face...school tmr it's like so fast barely felt the 'long' holiday....haish....ait dun wanna talk much.

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 2:53:00 pm:.
...
"berambus" is such a hard and cruel word...especially if it is said in a fit of anger and hatred....like get LOST I DONT WANT YOU IN MYSIGHT....luckily she din say berambus forever....
its hard i guez to pick urself up.....no one said it was easy yea...its funny how when the people around you, the friends tt
u hang around with and been thru ups and downs for years, u neva quite thanked them for all they've done for u.....but
an aquaintance(sp?) who just happen to be there for ONE time...gets all the credit and everything...i guez its just human nature to forget people who are around ya....
so if there's anione of my friends whom I haf neva thanked for the support u've given me...here i am to say thankx...shall not name any but u noe who u are if u haf been there...and i mean realli there when i needed you....yea...
been working my hearts out lately...on thurs worked from 6pm to 12.30am....reached home, slept...woke uo at 10am diz morn had to get ready for work already....today worked from 12pm to 8.30pm....went home, bathed, prayed......
guez im not following netballers to outing thiz sunday...working again...haish see first how la....


igottapickmysefupigottapickmyselfupigottapickmyselfupigottapickmyselfupigottapickmyselfupigottapickmyselfupigottapick
myselfupigottapickmyselfupigottapickmyselfupigottapickmyselfupigottapickmyselfupigottapickmyselfupigottapickmyself
up
ALONE

im tired...im gg to bed....

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 10:19:00 pm:.
...
BECAUSE I REALIZED I GOT
ME, MYSELF, AND I
THAT'S ALL I GOT IN THE END
THAT'S WHAT I FOUND OUT
AND IT AINT NO NEED TO CRY
I TOOK A VOW THAT FROM NOW ON
I'M GON' BE MY OWN BEST FRIEND

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 3:43:00 pm:.
...
my dedication came out on perfect 10...for those who din catch it it was for everyone who was feeling down and to cheer up, life will get better itsa journey....if u laugh so hard u gotta cry hard too.....yea...hope that everyone cheers up, in the world if possible, including me...no more tears.....even if there is tears at least now i know that i CAN wipe my own tears now.....

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 9:16:00 pm:.

i was reading someone's bloG.....then another person...people im not close to...it seems like there's so much pain that everyone goes through...is this what life i all about? besides all the laughter and fun of it...is there not one single person who hasnt shed a single tear in this world? is thIS liFE....it is the journey each and every human being has to go through no matter how painful it can get, no matter how much a person feels like giving up....i've been doing some deep thinking today after i came back at about 11 plus from school....watched smallville, slept after tt, woke up, mum, sis,aunty brother was gg out din ask me along.....hurt...everytime we make eye contact it just hurts and the words she uttered plays in my mind....cried...hard....couldn't stop till i hugged the doll...i guess it has been useful hah...the tk doll that it ....wandered about the house, looking in every empty room, sang softly to myself....sat on the bed and cried some more till i fell asleep......lala called asked to go orchard she was with her frenz, din feel like socializing.....said no, put down the phone, wandered abt the house summore and cried....hugged, teared, thought, read other people's blog.....
im not the onli one, im not.....if this is what life is, to study, tear, laugh, smile, anger, eat, sleep...just pray and wait till death comes...then it'll all be over just like that....the emotional pain just disappears and u just wait to face god above...... just pray, life will get better.....to all those people, whom i know or not, who might juz come across this blog of mine, pray coz onli god can help u frankly...there's realli no one out there and even if there is they are juz there to stop ur tears..... feeling so lonely i guess this entry is just a re-assurance or some words for me , myself and i just to make myself feel better.....and others too....cry if u must, cry if i must......tears are the thing i seek comfort in for the loneliness....and if suicide is on ur mind, just remember it'sa big sin to do it.....so just put that thought away......the fact tt its a big sin is the onli thing that's stopping me from dng it.....and the fact tt its a big sin to cut urself is the onli thing tt's stopiing me from dng it...i'm glad God made it a sin otherwise i would've been dead be now.....
i cant say take me away to a place where there is no pain coz there is no such place......in this world, in this life it's full of pain.....why is everone rushing to get fame and money? why cant there be love in this world........i wish people wouldn't be so greedy.....live simply if everyone would just life simply the world woudn't be in so much pain.....life wouldn't be so pathetic.....but i guez it just cant happenis supposed to be like tt...God created it to be like that so that we wld be faced with challenges......coz if we were all happy it just aint right.....to all those people feeling down, or people whom have lost their loved ones, or to people whom are broken-hearted by LOVE, cry tell me and i'll cry with you...hold on, life cant go all tt bad dont be sad, just life simply don't get life get ur LIFE complicated...forgive coz then ur heart won't be in so much anger.......love even tho it hurts, wait for the day tt u face God above and be good till then...... whatever reason tt is making u feel down i figured there's always a solution to it...there is ALWAYS a solution, if not a solution its like there is ALWAYS something that will make u feel better. i believe that when one door of happiness closes another one opens... that's how the world works that's how God created it...i believe in that....


till next time, please smile a true smile, not with a heart full of sadness.....

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 8:51:00 pm:.
...
school was ok? boring? survived...almost fell asleep during history......don't know why when é lesson was kinda interesting yet nvm....after skl went to do class deco..intended to leave halfway to go to expo with them but din in the end when i found out that we had to pay 12 bucks for it..i tot it was free....heh, well i guez nth in the world is actually free.... gotta work for everything......jzu like i gotta work my mouth to ask my mum for the extra 12 bucks which im quite certain i won't get....yeap.... see im so cheerful about it...so proud of myselF :) aniwae eneded up dng class deco till abt 5pm.... gonna miss dng all this class stuff when secondary school years are over....sighs.....oh well.. biggie's a GREAT chairman... she was the one who got things gg... *salutes BIggie* yup...hope our efforts aren't going to waste... let see tmr we haf a veri dumb chinese new year "celebrations" so yea dun feel like coming skl tmr can i just skip it? haii....mebbi shall not tell my mum and runaawayyyyyyyyyy and juz get ab mc or smth....but mc needs money....sigh...nvM~ today onli spent 50 cents at skl to buy orange during recess.....so proud of myself...havent eaten yet until not tho' stomach's growling.... mama din cook shall go cook up smth la......oh ya remeber writing a compo during first period today in english lesson titled "a potrait of myself as a reader" hah...wrote crap all the way...like i ever read...heh....but plan to start.... esp newspapers.....ugh must read forum page to improve on argumentative essays i guez....yea....
eazt zone first game on next wed...tt's abt exactly one week from now.....*shudders* ok don't noe why im kinda freaked out but yea its like sec 4 the last year we'll be playing as a tk team......haii....aniwae, gonna be buzy this chinese new year holidays plus work and everything........haii....yea aniwaezeez, shall go now before my dearest most lovable mother anione can ever have give me the killing look....yea.....

cheer up to someone.....life will get betta.....i was down last week and i picked myself up...u will too don't worri...

ps: this is MY bLOG...i write what i want....*cough*

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 7:31:00 pm:.
...
sOme inspiration, some trUe friends, soMe Love and soMe gooD newS




i.juz.want.a.simple.life.

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 9:42:00 pm:.

where do i start? hmm...well firstly i feel so unaccomplished..(right lx?) haiz....aniwae tomorrow's a mONDAY...third week of sch....ODD week..din really do much this week basically coz after a disasterous ca practically dun haf the mood to do aniting....wellz, all i can remember is my cramps on sat and me not training when i wanted self-training so badly...blearghz. wadever.it was so painful.niwae went home, had a terrible journey home.then slept.went for the 4pm tuition...din pay attention coz the cramps came back and mr ng wasnt dere there was a replacement and din realli like the way she teach.tho i kind a pitied her coz no one waz listening to her...aniwae, went for krystal's party after dat.then my i borrowed my pencil case and some papers for krystal to play some game.oh yah i forgot to mention tt i was blind.my eyes were hurting besides my stomach.so took out my contacts.din meet anione new due to my blindness.aniwae i din bring home my pencil case.i hope it's ok la and i'll find it tmr.all my stationaries, if i lose them gotta dig my pocket for more money to replace them all :( money's so tight.sighs. realli hope i get it back tmr........................................................................................................................................................................................
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.................................................................W........H.......A.......T.........E........V..........E.........R.............................................








today- woke up 10+ got ready went to the optician....the guy was very nice....but kinda lectured me...some dirt was at my contacts and affected my eye too...he usedLITMUS paper to put yellow solution in my eye...he said it was not major YET...but if i dunt take care now it will be major and he will send me to a gp (wadever tt it) then he said there are lotsa protein on my contacts, drew me a picture description.explained to me dat dere are some dirt in my eye which caused the blurness of my contacts...told me to better wear off my contacts for 1 week... yeaso back to old specs ....nerdy specs...remind me of myself when i was in sec 1 and 2....hahz....aniwae gotta let my eyes recover fully before i actually start a brand new start wearing contacts again....he was so generous, gave me 2 lens case, then 1 pair of 1 day contacts for me to use on 26th jan if there is a tournament on tt day...which remind me of east zone...*shivers* aniwae, gota go for an eye check-up on next tues...yeah...hope everything will be alryte be then.... aniwae, slept a lot today...basically rested la.....avoiding mama....aunt told me not to...asked me to act normal...how do i act normal if she keeps banging stuff?! argH! feel so useless....wadever arh its even so hard to get her to sign the edusave form for the national geographic magazine thingey....haii....aniwae....this week's gonna be a relaxed week..CNY holiday..ok i take tt back it's not gonna be as relaxed as i tot...haii, gonna work full 8 hours on both days....gonna send in my resignation letter tmr with hafizah....then on CNY too nenek (grandma) gonna move house...so i guez after-before work gonna go and help with the shifting and carrying of stuff....yea she gonna move to sengkang...so far away. ait la shall go now.... been online for quite some time dun wanna get myopia...haha....muz take care of my eyes....




Somewhere between the *procrastination* and the homework..
and the incessant forwards
and the friendships and the calls
to each other complaining about CrUsHeS and
BF/GF!!
Somewhere between the phone calls to old
friends and the "I miss you's", the "I love you's" and
the "What are we doing tonight's?" And somewhere
between all of the changing and growing...
somewhere between the classes and the skipping
classes...and the StUdYiNg for teStS...And the
PRETENDING to "StUdY" for TeStS...
And the downright NOT StUdYiNg for TeStS...
I forgot--I forgot what ScHooL was all about.


Somewhere between all the appointments, starbuck coffee,
and Mc Donald's... paying bills and then not paying bills...
Making plans then breaking plans... Appearing, Disappearing,
then reappearing... I forgot--I forgot what it was like to cry.
I forgot that pretending to be happy doesn't make you
happy... And that pretending to
be SmArT doesn't make you smart .. I forgot
that you can't just forget the past in
fear of the FUTURE... I forgot that you
can't control falling in LoVe..
And that you can't make yourself fall in *LoVe*
.... I learned that I can LOVE... I
learned that it's okay to MEsS UP....
And it's okay to ask for HELP!!!.. And it's
okay to feel like crap... I learned it's okay to cOmPLaiN
and wHINe to all your friends for a whole day........
I learned that sometimes the things you want
most you just can't have and the things that
you look for are right in front of you.
I learned that the greatest thing about
HiGh ScHOoL and CoLLeGe and the working world
it isn't about the parties or the
DRiNKiNG or the Hookups ...

It's the *FrIeNdShIpS*, which means taking chances.
I learned that sometimes the things we want to forget
are the things which we most need to talk about...
I learned that TIME and LOVE can heal all things...
I learned that just when you think it can't get worse - it does! ...
but with the love and support of friends - you survive...
I've learned that when you start feeling BaD
about L O S I N G touch and about those that you've lost!
They too, are feeling the same way....

I learned that letters from friends are the
most important things. And that sending cards to your
friends makes you feel better! But, basically, I just learned
that my friends........ Both old and new..... are the most important
people to me in the world AND.......without them, I wouldn't be who
I am today.....

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 9:41:00 pm:.
...
and when ur mum says to u dat u have a rotten heart....you do have a rotten heart coz she's ur mum...and I haf a rotten heart.....so stay away......


You are only who you are until that is taken from you.
it's cold it's dark, it's your life,
breathing, shivering, bleeding, praying,
you wrap yourself in your thoughts, the complaints, the scars,
you pull your knees to your chest, rocking back and forth
jagged words cut you deep, but for so long have you tried not to let it show.
You try to run, you scream and yell, thinking your dreams have left you alone,
your tears stay wet on your face, they etch themselves into the lonely school halls and the empty cold air of memories.
You trip, you fall and lie on the cold floor which you once stood tall upon.
what makes you fall, what makes your thoughts weaken you?
I was stolen from me not so long ago,
taken from my uniqueness, and gripped tightly in the life of the person you want me to be.
Locked with tears, bound by the fear you shoved into me.
Never was good enough, never will I be the same.


.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 9:45:00 pm:.
...
hey hey....the incident yesterday still fresh on my mind...*glares at hafizah* haha...ok ok i forgive ya...aniwae, yest after trg wanted to eat...so wanted to go upper boon keng mac...but the freaking 31 took a freaking long time to come...SO we decided to go kal macs and took 32..yep, ate tok, SHE asked me to teach her a maths...siao as if im like good at it....chem, er....wrong person too...lingxiu!!!??? haha...anyway jasman was working and HE'S birthday JUZ PASSED ADN I HAD NO IDEA...ahhhhh.....hmm, anuwae wished him, he took order...tt silly hafizah neva want to order noe....aniwae, after eating tried to study but i was engrossed in showig hafizah who marshall was....heh...aniwae we finished at abt 8 plus...was walking out of the door when 3 ppl rushed in macs and were like screaming!! all wearing the singapore netball shirt....den rushed to hafizah< who was in front >
them: eh take photo with us can? we need sumone in sch uniform!!
*enters a hyper senior grace*
hafizah: senior grace!!!
them: oh good good!!!! u guys know each other!!!
hanisah: kk i take for u all...
so in went hafizah with them...there were more ppl who entered in the end...but in the end i din take it coz the 'photographer was supposed to take it....i was still feeling so amused...then we were abt to walk out of the door whennnnnnnnnnn....PEARLINE entered....aarggghh..*thump* *thump* *thump* heart beating...then hafizah was in front...SOOOOOOOO pearline pulled hafizah and ask her to take pic..... :'( < hafizah had to make me feel worse by saying tt pearline touch her arm when taking photo and pearline kept on pulling her... :( aniwae lixiang was in her team aso...and er...other ppl i cant realli remember...was too engrossed in the fact tt pearline was there....haha.... anwiae i took the picture....then they were taking photo with this am guy in the mac aso...kecoh man in the mac...haha i think my managers and fwens at kal were like wondering what was gg on....ok, so hafizah and me went out thru the front door...i was on the verge of killing hafizah so we walk and i was whining tt i din take pic wif her.....haha....so erm, hafizah was like sorri sorri sorri... kk...so we walked on and then went to the traffic light all hyper and excited....heh...then as we were crossing the traffic light hearda shout behind...we both turned aroud and tada! we were swarmed by another media with all their cameras...hehe.....no la liyana was running towars us like a mad woman and was like take photo take photo! haha...so kelakar....aniwae, snr rachel huiling and other ppl were also in liyana's team......so we took photo this time me and hafizah was in the photo 2geda with the other ppl....then they were too excited i think they forgot to say thankx so aniwae, was still jumping from all the excitement...i eman imagine the 21's players running and i mean realli running towards u asking to take pic...haha...at first i tot wat kinda trick is this.....hehe...aniwae they headed towars the coffee shop...found out later tt they were playing treasure hunt...guess they were required to take a photo with sumone in uniform.....crap noe....but looks like so much fun...reminds me so much of the amazing race tt we had...running here and there *winks at deb and wl* yea took 31 home...reality check....
aniway today came sch extra late.......izzit worth it to take a late bus and miss morning game to see a guy ont he bus tt has inspired u for 1 whole year or izzit not worth it? hmm....yea its the vjcian guy... hah...aniwae lessons were as normal..went to parliament house for excursion...kinda cool noe....yeap...din go tuition in the end.....went home..now im planning to rot at home...f
tmr got tuition...most prob nt gg nike after that...gonna go airport to send off the indonesia crew...irfan, insan and yayah....sos ad...it's like they come to spor to work..make an impact on my life..and then leave and neva cum back...i guez its memories tt are impt all those fun working with them...sun ngaji then work...dun wanna work act. there's daisy tan on tt day there'll be so many ppl...haish....requested for off but they din allow....or mebbi they forgot....wadever la who cares...im working for the sake of the money tt i need...kal is no more fun now tt all of them have gone awayy.... k la...my eyes hurt..still haven gotten my chesnut contact leNS :)

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 9:02:00 pm:.
...

:Tuesday, January 06, 2004:

Yeah I know it hurts, Yeah I know you're scared walking down the road that leads to who knows where. Don't you hang your
head don't you give up yet when courage starts to disappear I will be right here.

[Chorus:]

When your world breaks down and the voices tell you turn around. When your dreams give out I will carry you, carry you.
When the stars go blind and the darkness starts to flood your eyes. When you're falling behind, I will carry you.

Everyboday cries, Everybody bleeds, No one ever said that lifes an easy thing. Thats the beauty of it, when you lose your
way, close your eyes and go to sleep and wake up to another day.

[Chorus]

You should know now that you're not alone. Take my heart and we will find, you will find, your way home.

When your dreams give out I will carry you, carry you. When the stars go blind and the darkness starts to flood your eyes.
When you're falling behind, I will carry you, carry you, I will carry you, carry you, I will carry you, carry you, I will
carry you.

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 9:37:00 pm:.
...

:Monday, January 05, 2004:

bad day...bad training...to me...mebbi partly due to the weather...i was close to tears....hah....yea wadever....study, helps me keep my mind off things....

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 8:53:00 pm:.
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:Sunday, January 04, 2004:

just cam back work......my eyes are sore from rubbing it too much....hmph.....tmr got so many things to bring...well, at least my moods still up even tho' im pretty tired over work and trg and stuff...but i realize smth tt i dun play my bez when im not in a good mmod aniway tired out and i havent finished my holz howk....wonder why its called holiday homework when we dun do it in the holidays...might as well call it a sch reopening hwk or smth liddat...k la....toodles...

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 10:05:00 pm:.
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:Saturday, January 03, 2004:

training sucked yesterday...to me at least....she got pissed at us...wish she woudn't give us a drink break everytime she gets pissed off...make sme feel worse....like dun deserve to drink..wish she would like punish us so that we wld really learn our lesson....ha....anyway, today tuition, den nike.....dun feel like gg...hope rury's gg....wonder if snr. rachel's gg...her doll has been rotting in my cupboard for so long...lol...

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 1:08:00 pm:.
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:Thursday, January 01, 2004:

happy New Year. time to settle down with netball and studies...east zone and O levels.....

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 11:43:00 am:.
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