sometimes somehow i just wish that i stay in tampines or bedok or tanah merah or something. life is unfair. :(
at least im closer and closer to getting out of love again. hahz. k la wadever dun feel like blogging.
.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 8:25:00 pm:.
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i guess pain is good. at least ohysical pain. it's necessary in life. just read this article about this girl who has a rare nerve disorder. called hereditary sensory autonomic neuropathy. yea. this girl from America ithink, just a toddler, she doesnt feel any pain. It like she chews on her fingers until they are bloody and pokes her eyes until her vision's impaired. but there's no cure for her. cure for not feeling any pain? hmmm. kinda pity her parents, frantically trying to find a cure. if only there was such thing like no emotional pain. someone show me an article that can prove to me that emotional pain is also necessary in life. as least now i know physical pain Is. hmm..
.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 8:13:00 pm:.
bitter. bitter bitter rotten horrible day. :(
somebody please say something nice.
.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 6:46:00 pm:.
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yeay, i finally noe how to link people. u see im quite dumb, but lala made me smart. heh. my intelligence grew one step higher.hehehe.k wadever.
oops.just realize a prob. i dont noe most of my fwen's blog add.
.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 8:06:00 pm:.
had bbq with them (kallang mac crew) on fri....before that watched badminton match.... good fight, but yeah they won second place..still, it's second place. and they get to play all the way to national finals. sigh. it brought much memories when i was at toa payoh sports hall. *aches* anyway, had a great time at the bbq.. din eat much tho' the bbq itself din turn out good coz we are kinda bad 'cooks' hahah, so much for working at macdonalds....anyway, realized i was the youngest among them. like there were 20+ aged people. then there were also poly students, ITE from their skls....kinda havoc people lar but they're fun people..anyway, left at about 9.50....quite late sia. obviously i was the first to leave, then they were like asking me not to go, then some of them say im under-age so must go home early. so irritating. haha. part of me wanna grow up fast, but part of me wanna stay liek this forever. Niwae, oh yah, the occasion was thama's bdae la. yeah. shared a present with some of them. bot him a nike pouch. anyway, he brought his new gf, from his ITE i guess. and I'm seriously happy for him. yeah, im glad he has moved on and his gf, this indian girl, quite chio aso la. so yeah, good for him. and the best part is he and me are still friends. we talk normally and stuff. im really happy. at least someone ends his love story with a perfect ending.guez it's just not time yet. *nods*
i really really really DO NOT like it when people snAp at me. not just once twice, but so many times. aRgh. lala's right. i do get bullied easily. UGH. oh btw, thankx for helping to put up my blog. i like it. :)
had a weird dream yest. scary? sad? dont noe. dreamt i was at skl. den we got back results. cant realli remember whether it was O level results or prelims. its quite stupid la. but the dreams was like i open my thingey then i saw 6 points. den i was like rejoicing like shit. den when i open it again i realize it was 16 i think. or 17. then i counted my L1R5. then it was 17. then i went hysterical. i cried liek mad. i couldn't stop tearing sia. still can remember it. then the people who came to comfort me was small AND big ANG. ahakz. yeah. din stop crying until i woke up. scary. im so scared it'll come true. diz O level thing is freaking me out.
i just realised that thama's and danson's bdae falls on the exact same day. 26th april. what a coincidence.
hmmm, wads there to look forward to this weeK? i guez nike on sat...keep wanting to train these days... i have such a boring life....i wanna watch 50 first dates!!!!!!!! anybody? *looks around* haish. everyone is so buzy.
k la . chiao. hopefully i'll get my hands off the comp and come back only next sunday.toodles, take care everyone.
.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 1:39:00 pm:.
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i just couldn't help it.no matter how much i promis myself and promise myself again and again and again.he just kepps popping in and out of my mind.i dont understand.what is it about him?
i dont ever wanna wanna 'bump' into him again.no not ever. even tho' my heart is tellingme i wanna see him everyday. but i'm following wad my brain is saying instead. im not good enough for him. they say him today too, minmin,rury,debre,lx,wei2....yea. and now i feel like i have so many reasons not to stay on loving this 'prince' of mine. im not good enough, and i noe it, right from the start. he's too good-looking like for me. to me he is good-looking. and why wld i ever stand a chance ryte? unless he doesn't go for looks, which is most probably impossible coz [ractically everyone i know, oh well, looks is the first thing after all. anyway, yea like i said, wld i ever stand a chance. answer is NO. im not one of those jambu minahs out there. im ordinary looking and i know it. i dont have a thick skin. stop living in fantasy land. im nt gd enuff for him. YES! another good reason to stop thinking abt him. he deserves someone as good-looking as him, and i definitely aint one of them. ok alryte ok. i hope he has a good life, and do well in his studies and go to U..yea i hope he will be happy. im not asking for pity or anything.im not, really. just that mebbi the kind of guy that suits me wld be like ordinary looking as well? so that i wont feel so inferior. yeah.i dont noe.
accpet it..
.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 9:47:00 pm:.
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how do you measure love?
by the size of the hole in the heart you leave behind
princess moon (blueprint)
prince moon (my love story)
if only i had the courage to go up and say hie like steven from the show.
the ending of princess moon is so :'(
feels like the ending of my own love story.
how do you measure love?
by the size of the hole in the heart you leave behind.
:'( accept it.
.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 9:33:00 pm:.
didi and anoi came my house today...rarely do any tk-gians come my house coz of the fact that is sooo faaarr awayyy but actually it's not okayyy.....the time to get to my house is the time tkg-ians who take 31 to school come to school. HmPh!
anyway watched school of rock.. then pigged in to the thosai we bought + bubble tea plus roti with curry...ahakz..
then after that they teach me their dance...so cool! mebbi i shd have joined dance instead of basketball, but nehmind la what's done is done...they said i picked up fast.. *raises eyebrow* hmm...hehe...nvm. anyway, i realli like it!! shall go ask them to teach me summore... :) hmm, wonder how was the auditions of lala's 'band'...this gurl arh, ask me to message me how was it, always forget noe....
aniway, today has been okay. :) i smiled through periods. didn't sleep. actually enjjoyed today's lessons. lit, physics, chem! (haha) a maths....nothing brought me down today, mebi coz i choose not to let anything affect. things are beginning to look up.. :) alhamdulillah.
.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 8:34:00 pm:.
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i miss working and feeling rich and updating mY bankbook and loOking at mY saLary.
on other hand, i miss other things more.
.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 10:41:00 pm:.
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and to think i cant even touch dogs.....wat onlieh...
.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 8:07:00 pm:.
got these stuff from ling lj....
reminds me of MISSING. *shudders*
.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 8:05:00 pm:.
.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 8:00:00 pm:.
Everyday when you return from your school, whether or not it is from a secondary school, a junior collage, a polytechnic, or ITE, you would probably think that school sucks.
All that work and torture under your lecturer's or teacher's homework or assignments, or tutorials...
But think about this, i mean really think. All the time spent with your classmates, all the laughter, sorrows, and happiness of knowing that your friends are there in your class.
Now imagine them gone, perhaps part of them or even all of them.
You may not realise it, but when advancing into the next level of education, it is inevitable that some friends will be parting with you.
What is all this you ask yourself, what I ask is of you to think, for those who received this mail, what do those people who were once or were still your classmates and friends meant to you.
Anyone who has at least finished their o levels and has graduated from respective schools would know the feeling of parting with your classmates and friends.
Not knowing when you still see them again.
Perhaps the next day, the next week, month, years, or even decade.
Perhaps one day, you would realised how bitter sweet those memories were, the fun you had with your classmates and friends.
That is why ever so often when you asked someone which is the most fond memories they had in their years in education, they would often have that sadness in their eyes, but yet, they smile briefly.
It's the memories of their school friends. Those unforgettable years of laughter and happiness in school.
Each classmate had suffered under the same stresses in school. The teachers, whether they are kind or extremely strict.
So treasure your schooling days, don't complain, because you never know when you will miss them dearly. And perhaps, shed a tear for those treasured times in your youth.
~Let those whom are weak and tormented in the spirit find strength in this letter, knowing that someone still remembers them, and care for them. No matter the circumstances.~
.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 7:56:00 pm:.
What's wrong with the world, mama
People livin' like they ain't got no mamas
I think the whole world addicted to the drama
Only attracted to things that'll bring you trauma
Overseas, yeah, we try to stop terrorism
But we still got terrorists here livin'
In the USA, the big CIA
The Bloods and The Crips and the KKK
But if you only have love for your own race
Then you only leave space to discriminate
And to discriminate only generates hate
And when you hate then you're bound to get irate, yeah
Badness is what you demonstrate
And that's exactly how anger works and operates
Nigga, you gotta have love just to set it straight
Take control of your mind and meditate
Let your soul gravitate to the love, y'all, y'all
People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek
Father, Father, Father help us
Send us some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love
The love, the love
It just ain't the same, always unchanged
New days are strange, is the world insane
If love and peace is so strong
Why are there pieces of love that don't belong
Nations droppin' bombs
Chemical gasses fillin' lungs of little ones
With the ongoin' sufferin' as the youth die young
So ask yourself is the lovin' really gone
So I could ask myself really what is goin' wrong
In this world that we livin' in people keep on givin'
in
Makin' wrong decisions, only visions of them dividends
Not respectin' each other, deny thy brother
A war is goin' on but the reason's undercover
The truth is kept secret, it's swept under the rug
If you never know truth then you never know love
Where's the love, y'all, come on (I don't know)
Where's the truth, y'all, come on (I don't know)
Where's the love, y'all
People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek
Father, Father, Father help us
Send us some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love
The love, the love
I feel the weight of the world on my shoulder
As I'm gettin' older, y'all, people gets colder
Most of us only care about money makin'
Selfishness got us followin' in the wrong direction
Wrong information always shown by the media
Negative images is the main criteria
Infecting the young minds faster than bacteria
Kids wanna act like what they see in the cinema
Yo', whatever happened to the values of humanity
Whatever happened to the fairness in equality
Instead in spreading love we spreading animosity
Lack of understanding, leading lives away from unity
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' under
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' down
There's no wonder why sometimes I'm feelin' under
Gotta keep my faith alive till love is found
People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek
Father, Father, Father help us
Send us some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 7:45:00 pm:.
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i skipped skl today...too tried after sending bro to airport at 2am..he went off to taiwan...ns arhz....
yeay minmin said yes and is gonna folow me watch nj game tmr.. thankx amah/rosie. :)
wonder whut i missed out on skl today.probably not much.
i finally have taken my stand to not be affected by people who pull me down. i mean reallieh, for the past 4 years actualli.. certain people just find something in me to hate about. i try and find my faults but sometimes i dont get anywhere. what is it my face that piss u off? the way i talk? in this short life of ours, we hafta let others noe their mistakes so that they can learn. and if i made a mistake, tell me, dun talk behind my back.
just take this as an example, just an EXAMPLE . the rgs game. my biggest mistake was to enter the match some of my teamamtes had given up hope when aparently they havent. i said "don't giveup" and after the game, when we talked they told me my mistakes. so fine. i learnt from it. yea mebbi i did cry, but cry for making the mistake and not repeating them again...that's the way things shd be.
im not gonna let anything, not any cold shoulder given by anyone affect my mood or myself anymore. i've taken in this SHIT so long, trying and trying to make things better. enough is enough. im nt trying anymore. be what u want to be. i dont care
i promise i wont get affected anymore and no one deserves to pull my spirits down.time to stand strong.
.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 3:53:00 pm:.
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okk dat was quite lame...
Nefertari??? who's dat??
.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 7:45:00 pm:.
.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 7:44:00 pm:.
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wah. wah. wah. wah
wah. what a day. what an ending. what a long run. it's finally finished. KAPUT (haha).over. no more playing for tkgs netball. im still shocked, trying to take it in. like there won't be any more trainings, afternoons gonna be very free. i guess every good thing comes to an end. whao i speak as though im never gonna see all of them again. yea but it really feels like we're separated. even tho' we wil still be cing each other in school, things will never be the same again. it's really the end. all 4 years of hard work.
ok ok letme start from the beginning. match with RV today. 1st 3 quaters was ok, good (quoted by ppl) then last quater we kinda i guez got distracted? but yea, we beat them anyway, by 7 i think. but it want enough to get to top 4 nationals. and so we're 5th? that is if we play agnst mgs then we win them then we can officially be 5th..haha.. but hey 5th top school in Singapore for netball doesn't sound that bad ryte? i mean 5th out of the 100 schools...yea trying to look on the brighter side of things. kept thinking if we had played better during the amk match we wld have been in by now...but yea wads the pt of turning back and regretting on it?
the thing that was kiling me the most was the fact that today was our last game that together as one team. one tkgs b div team. playing with them, it is the last time i wld see alexis catch all the awkward rebounds that im quite sure no other shooter can do...it wld be the last time i'd see minmin's fierce face on court and so many many other things. ok nt exactly the last time, i mean can always see them play netball and stuff but in a game where we're playing for tk... haish.
rafidah messaged me saying "why do netballers ALWAYS talk about netball?" maybe we do...hahaz. life wld be empty without it...kinda...
it's the people in the team, every single one of them. dat has made me feel this way. i cant even describe it. OVERWHELMING? maybe.. it's all of it, all the crap, the
tears , the laughter, the games, the carnivals, the up days and the down days, the fighting days. EVERYTHING. this feeling is so undescrible. i think the rest of the netballers wld understand what i mean.
it's time to part, to hand over our positions to the sec 3s. to be known as an ex-tkgian netballer. tho the year hasnt ended (there's still O levels) but it feels like im not in tkgs anymore. coz tk means tk netball. haiiyoh. im frustrated . a bit. why has it to end so fast?
all those treasured memories, personally, i remember the tears a lot, in sec one and sec 2, then sec 3 was the best. it was a year of CRAP. total crap. in personal note of rememberence, when there was the family tree, the we were all connected in one way or another. i had 3 daughters, rury, hafizah and azidah. my bf - qinwei, my ex-hubbie-fana, my secret fling- minmin whom we produced azidah. oh yah the n recently according to rury fana and me produced a guy from dunnoe what skl la. then qw and me produced hafizah. man. then this year realli know alexis better, i mean i cant even remember her in sec one and two! then the time when all the memorable carnivals, SPE where we danced on the pitch, we dedicated song to grace (haii...grace) then when weeling was in crutches just coz of a sprained ankle. (poor gurl) then when alexis kept on saying i look haggard. haha...then when farhanah keep imitating how i catch lobs which i can PROUDLY say i dont do it anymore. all the c div games. leecheng. the drill SQUARE ball when we seriously sucked at when in c div but so pro in b div...haha...oh ya qinwei saying "basket!" lingxiu forever my ballwork partner and always giving me encouragement. special thankx yea? debre, the flasher in the toilet, always dun wanna go in cubicle to change...l haha and alexis always flashing ard!! muakahkah.rury calling me monny! fana calling me minah when obviously im not one. deb the first one in the team who started calling me hunn then the rest followed. also chilling out at foyer. the netball area. from the small pole near the piano in c div, to the benches in sec 4. will miss our pace of walking to gether, damn slow a person who sprained their ankle wld even walk faster than us. the time when we went marche. minmin calling me rosie at one point in time. lx turning super red when she's malu. oh yah CAMPS. (and CRAMPS) hw can i forget. the time me and deb got dur-deng at camp then was quite upset about it. NORAIDA EAT. MS TAN EAT. JUNIORS EAT. WE EAT. EVERYBODY EAT. haii. there's just TOO MANY to recall, TOO MANY. SSOOO MANY. EVERYTHING is just so precious now,
as the saying goes, "you never know what you have till u finally lose it" something like that. it's really true. it really is. i mean despite all the bad stuff that i've gone through, yea the good things eventually will be remembered the most and treasured....god noes how much i've learnt and i can safely say mature from all these experiences with these wonderful people. pray that they'll succeed in life. oh gosh, haii.
UNTIED WE STAND
DIVIDED WE FALL
TOGETHER GETHER
FOREVER EVER
WADEEVR EVER
let us remember each other for the rest of our lives. just a special note to any of you teammates of mine: YOu might not know it but you as an individual have made an impact on my life and you will be remembered that's my promise to you, whether ur sec 3 nw or sec 4, i love you no matter what our friendship lives on. may u be blessed with the deepest desires you have. PEACE and LOVE to all.
this is so saddening.
.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 11:17:00 pm:.
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i think sometimes reading other people's blog really demoralizes me.....especially people i spend a lot of time with, and people i really care about.....i think i should just stop reading other blogs....yeah i mean like if it saddens me then why do it? just like if i go up the bus every day and i feel sad why go up? take another bus then... yeah gotta look for other alternatives.....
i miss him, i really do.... i don't noe why iam so affected. can my ankle just stop bloating and just go down. why?! why?! i don't noe why i am not playing like i always do nowadays. i enter the match, saying yes yes i will play my best today. then i go out feelng all rotten. bleargh.so frustrated. very FRUSTRATED.
ms CHia is superb. so is ms tan. hahz.
hwk's toppling up.
why cant i have you. why do i have to make the sacrifices.
.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 9:11:00 pm:.
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