heyaZ...
at my cousins house now...this morning wanted to go support the famsa quiz thing but in the end didn't...just didn't feel like gg...anyways, just now as usual went for the fizg klaz at masjid kampung delta..and yea what the ustaz say realli make an impact on me...it's like he said all of us now think the world is so big..everything is about the world..and we're always just living in our own world...and bumi skarang is this big...jupiter is 1000 times the size of the earth.. and THE SUN. is 13 MILLION times the size of the earth...my gosh...imagine how HUMONGOUSLY GIGANTICALLY HUGE THAT is..and just imagine if the sun is THAT SIZE...how about akhirat....whao...and what are we? one person like me here is like a small ant if u see from the akhirat, or maybe cannot even be seen! dont even exist! it realli made me think. as usual.wads new. hah.

anyway, besides that,on the way to my cousins house at jurong (oh btw im sleeping here today realize i need a break from everything and have some fun chilling out here before tournie starts and also to keep my mind off certain stuff) i confided in her..told her about the thing that happened twice to me...yeah...glad to be able to talk it out...feel much better now...there aremuch bigger things in life than u and me. that quote from spiderman suddenly struck me. yeah....anway, wont be blogging a lot after this.tournie starts on monday probably gonna be super buzy..which i am actually glad for..it keeps my mind off things, from seeing things that will just menyakitkan hati..yeah....haii....cant deny im still a little bit hurt but its alrtE! im stong! woohoo! :D can face this shit. haha..after all, hidup di dunia ini hanyaa sementara.its the akhirat dat matters in the end...ohh and would just like to add that the mat in my class is realli nice noe... he's cool...with everyone in my class..kinda like the joker of my class..haha...glad to have him as a classmate tho i must say i did have a bad impresion on it at first on his pants and hair and all... but he's cool realli...even i admited that to him about the impression thingey...i guess u gotta noe a person first before judging him/her....yeap.

anyway, gonan watch hindustan movie now..hehe...recommended by my cousin so shd be quite good..now waiting for my other cousin to come here beofre we start the late night movie.. ahakz...then tmr gotta starts finishing up homework....anyway, im quite sad cam cannot run for track and field day but i guess its for the best...dont wanna end up straining my leg or something la huh....okie la, shall go chill with my cousin now...sometimes, technology sux... through friendster and blogs that i find out things which i shoudn't actually noe and in the end its me who gets hurt..hah. the disadvantages of modern tech....okie la.ciaoz.

"it's alright.im ok.ithink GOD can explain.i believe im the same.i get carried away"



ohh and i love the song toploader dancing in the moonlight..makes me wanna dance...and be happy :)

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 10:45:00 pm:.

For allyou people who say, "I love you" whenyou have no clue what love is exactly!!!
Something to ponder upon...

Are your palms sweaty, is your heartracing and is your voice caught within your chest?? -
Itisn't love, it's LIKE.

You can't keep your eyes or hands off ofher/him
-It isn't love, it's LUST.

Are you proud, and eager to show her/himoff??
-It isn't love, it's LUCK.

Do you want her because you knowshe's/he'sthere??
-It isn't love, it's LONELINESS.

Are you with her/him because it's whateveryonewants??
It isn't love, it?s LOYALTY.

Are you with her because she/he kissedyou, orheld your hand?
It isn't love, it's LOW CONFIDENCE.

Do you stay for her/him confessions oflove,because you don't want to hurt her/him?
It isn't love, it's PITY.

Do you belong to her/him because thesight ofher/him makes your heart skip a beat??
It isn't love, it's INFATUATION.

Do you pardon her faults because youcare abouther/him?
It isn't love, it's FRIENDSHIP.

Do you tell her/him every day she is theonlyone you think of?
It isn't love, it's a LIE.

Are you willing to give up all of yourfavoritethings for her sake?
It isn't love, it's CHARITY.
=====================================

Does your heart ache and break whenshe's sad?
Then it's LOVE.

Do you cry for her/his pain, even whenshe's/he's strong?
Then it's LOVE.

Do her/his eyes see your true heart, andtouchyour soul so deeply it hurts?
Then it's LOVE.

Do you stay because a blinding,incomprehensiblemix of pain and relation pulls you closeandholds you to her/him?
Then it's LOVE.

Do you accept her/his faults because it's apartof who she/he is?
Then it's LOVE.

Are you attracted to others, but stay withher/him faithfully without regret??
Then it's LOVE.

Would you give her/him your heart, yourlife,your death??
Then it's LOVE.

Now, if love is painful, and tortures us so,whydo we love?
Why is it all we search for in life?
Thispain,this agony? Why is itall we long for?
This torture, this powerfuldeath of self? Why?The answer is so simple cause it's...LOVE.
It issuch an addictive thing that even peoplewho arenot having it wish to experience it and
share it withothers as well.

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 12:13:00 am:.
...
i hate it when history repeats itself.hate it when something bad happens twice. haiiz. it so sad. about the bus no. 28 incident. and now in aj. why must it be both my good friends..well, if ya noe what i mean. haii. this sux.just found out today.of coz i was crushed..its just too coincidental. is this my fate? haiiz.entah la. was brooding over it during malayA.felt so trapped. like i wanna do somthing about it, but it's out of my control.felt like running,and running and running. no wonder i like running...yeah. and training was a real emo boster for me.....felt super good after training..i guess its something to do with hormones or whatever, u do the bio..haha...yeah, after trg, din think of it anymore,kinda got to put it behind me..but of coz before malayA when i went to pray, hancur lah semuer...of coz i poured everything out to the ONE and only who knows how deeply cut my heart is..yeah...but now, i feel much better.alhamdullilah. at least im not brooding over it anymore. now wanna focus on my matches and nothing else...nothing else...i hope i can achieve my target...fizah is right about scorpios..they tend to hide their feelings... not that i really believe in this zodiac sign shit...but yeah, some of it can be true...


I believe I can flyI
believe I can touch the sky
I think about it every night and day
Spread my wings and fly away
I believe I can soar
I see me running through that open door
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly
See I was on the verge of breaking down
Sometimes silence can seem so loud
There are miracles in life I must achieve
But first I know it starts inside of me, oh


GOD help me get over this broken heart. send an angel for me to love who loves me back. shit, i hate this side of me that's so weak.

luckily my ajc teammates are there for me, great bumch of people they are...we sqUUEEEZED into a neoprint.13 people.fuyouu..that's like the most number of people in one neoprint.hah. yeah, had fun having dinner with them.once in a while.monday season starting. kinda scared.. but i guess we will be there for each other...gg thru all this 2geda..haiz, this realli reminds me of my -Forever-i-miss-you-all-and-hope-to-see-you-guys-soon tk netballers..and liana,liyana,didi, anoi, biggie and a whole lot more bunch crazy people...haiiz.i guess in times of great sadness that i need the feeling of love around me provided by my dearest FRIENDS!!! :D

*smiles*
*smileS*
*and smiles some more*

a smile can crue lotsa pain.

so smile a lot today.


i wanna watch coach cartel!! (sp?)
there's bloody so much hwk to do...welcome to jc life.i am 80%sure im dropping hist. what a waste but waddaheck..wonder how was mLDDS just now, dont realli noe whether they've given out the roles already...ohh, and we netballers got ouR jerseys!! yea! ahakz. okie la. kinda tired now.guess i'll be turning in early today..toodles~

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 11:19:00 pm:.
...
i was being a pain yesterday. sorri.kinda feel bad today, had a stomach ache in the morning...thought of not gg trg at first, but wadddahell, i tot, i shd go and you noe losten to what coach has to say and all...yeah so i went, and ended up training anyway, but due to my lethargic-ness and unwillingness of my body to move faster and jump higher to catch the ball, coach put me out...i was hoping to be put out anyway for the game...felt like fainting anytime.. the sun was like happily sCORCHING down on us...yeah, so i umpired(yeay!) i love umpiring...tho i suck at it sometimes.. haha..anyway, i shd be better by monday and back to my usual self...ohh, and i have to stop being so sore...yeah..i'll be ok by monday...*smiles* think of babies!!!

oki, gtg catch up on my work...later 5.45 gotta go masjid for the usual syarahan and ngaji...


ohh.im supposed to ask this long time ago...but the class is like free and open to anyone, and the ustaz is great and all, its a teens ugama class so any of u peepz out there who want to bertaubat. (muakhakah.dere's just so much shit in this world) and dont have other classes to go to COME WITH ME!! my mum has been bugging me to pull in my friends..yeah, but serious the ustaz is good...he himself is young..yep. *hopes to get some response*

**there's a pain somewhere hidden deep inside of me that i cant describe that onli GOD noes...

take care all.

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 3:55:00 pm:.
...
i feel sad today.very sad.
i dont noe, just read someone's blog, and it kinda struck me hard, like a slap across the face? it made me realize, sedar who i am...basically i feel like shit right now. dont get me wrong, its not what the person said (well, maybe partly) but it was more of how i took it..i feel rotten. shit. i dont usually use vulgar words but FUCK! aHH. haiiz.

when u like a person, its hard to get over him, especially after knowing he goes for looks and i noe i dont have the looks and WAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIITTT A MINUTE. aHHH, he goes for looks!!! ok, that's a comforting statement ironically. yeah, whats the point in clinging on to him!!! yeS! ahHHH!! dats the way hunn! (self-comfort)


haiiz.

hearing the song kal ho naa ho now..i love the show.

argh, i shall seek peace in praying. i shall have faith.

i miss my friends. like a whole lot...its usually in times of great sadness or great happiness that i miss them a WHOLE LOT..coz i miss sharing the ups and downs in life with them. i need a hug. its funny here in aj, being in a girls' school for 4 years, hugZ are like so coMMonly seen everywhere...in Aj, when i hug someone coming from a co-ed skl, feel so funny, but when i hug someone from a girls' skl, then it feels normal...maybe the girls' from girls' skl wld understand me..wanting a hug is not equal to lesbianism. wth. haii. sometimes a hug is all i need to regain the smile on my face again..*sobz*

dont realli wanna pour out here, yeah, my diary's always there..its quite inappropraite to type it here.. but i just need a place to ven tout my FRUSTARTION/ANGER/DISAPPOINTMENT. argh.


*when love is your greatest wEakness, you will be the strongest person in the worlD*

forget him. its not worth it.
ok.enuff about my feelings.anyway, AJ IDOL semi-finals was today...supported azra and haZ.melayu's have talent!!! whao..anyway, i dont get it why they must sing chinese song...i mean what about us!! ok la, i doubt i will mind if one of them sings an jing but i dont noe their song..sing smth in english la...haiiz.yea but well, they were good anyway... i voted for 2 person..hehe, just to get two forms, i went in and then went out and with anohter ticket went in again...lameZ...yeah....but both of them are my friends wat...anyway, besides that, in summary of my life now:
i hate PW.im feeling rotten. tmr morning got training. tournaments coming up.wish i could be in the drama performance mldds produntion but i guess i cant be in 2 places at once.im lagging behind.im thinking of dropping history.i cant cope with 4 As, and also i realize i dont wanna tsress myself up studyibng 4 As, when i wld rather use the extra time to love, and catch up with my friends and family.my contacts buat hal lagi, so i wore specs today and feel demoralised. i look selenger.someone confirmed it. hah. but i accept myself.i wish life isnt so screwed up like this.i wish to be 13 again when i was innocent and love was not in my dictionary. i've been playing kal ho naa ho song over and over again. my bro's in hospital, gg hospital very often now.im taking all these as a challenge.


*when love is your greatest weakness you will be the strongest person in the world.*

take care peepz.i love you all. *hugZ*

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 10:43:00 pm:.
...
fizah told me smth dat got me thinking today that i found realli true...
the phrase is "finding nemo".
yup...it's like we were toking about guys la...you noe, about thE ONE...yeah, so its like i was telling her about someone....28...yeah, haha, and she was like saying that there are many fishes out there in the sea, and there is only one nemo...and we have to find that nemo thats why its finding nemo! haha, smth to that extent... yeah...thankx man for the tip! so eveytime i kinda feel disappointed smth regarding tt issue i'll think about "finding nemo".. ahakz...hopefully one day i'll find my nemO..hehe...

tmr's GPA finals...SELAMAT MAJU JAYA kepada AJC!!! they've been training hard everyday stay back till late i think..and yeah, i'll support u all the way!!! hope the melayu-melayu at ajc will bond faster...for now, i kinda still feel the gap but yeah it takes time...but between the j2s malay girls they very nice ahhh.. so yeah...can crap with them esp that azra...*grinz* if she stand beside xiao de its damn cute both of them... haha, cam nak tka e apic of both of them 2geda...hahaz...
im hoping to get uniform from juli tmr...then i dont hafta buy...uniforms are so ex these days... *shakes head* baru 2 pairs 44 bucks...whao if i can save 44 bucks that 'd be great...


okie la..update next time..tmr's gonna be another buzy dayY...

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 10:30:00 pm:.
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