malay was ok.


zhiyen encouraged me not to blog coz she says its dangerous. in a way. i guess she's concerned.
think she's a real true friends. can get so pleased with her, and so happy and just feel so wonderful spending time with her and all. but at the same time sometimes can get geram with her...haha. oh well. im really glad i had the opp. to have met her.


went out to ps with fizah and zawiyah today, then walked around, and got bored, and walked to town. haha. as usual budget me eat $2 chicken nuggets. hahaha. me and the pair of twins (zawiyah and fizah). next time i bring my twin aso k then me and her will have telepathy and like the same shops and things too..haha..

tmr:
morn-jog with zhiyen. (supposed to be with zawiyah and fizah too but they abandoned me to jog at pasir ris park *sobz*)
after that- help miss dawn tan with some netball stuff. hmm, wonder what.haiz.
noon- go zhiyen house to watch extended version of LOTR!! yeay..
3pm- drama rehearsal.
at night- hoping to go nenek house to see MARTIN!! man do i miss that cute little baby bOYYY.. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, NAK CUBIT PIPI DIER!! GERAM!!! LOL.




i actually learnt a lesson today that i shant put here. something i learned the hard way. but glad to have learnt it. will neva do it again.




-somethings u just have to let go.-

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 11:51:00 pm:.
...
ok.i have not touched peribahasa.been surfing the net since just now...went to friendster....went to hafiana's and filzah's page..my old pri skl mates..sharini and diyanah too..
aargh.just cant help but feel forgotten...they've changed so much..or is it me? i keep wondering, is it me? or is it them? is it me? haf i not taken the extra step to treasure the people i have around me? i really miss them. serious. but they seem to be caught up in their own world of new friends....it's like i dont noe how to approach them anymore....i dont noe if they even remmeber me...those treasured times i had with fil when i went her house after skl during pri skl days...we'll go crazy i swear, we'll have SCreaming competition in her house..and dats where i carried her cat, and laast tiem play the roller coaster tycoon...or just go down to buy chocolate fudge ice-cream...i really really miss all of that...and what hurts more is that we're just so far yet so neaR...all of them are still living in bishan/amk area and i feel like as though they stay at the other end of the world...haiiz. i hate it when this happens...but im really happy for them coz if what they potray on friendster and their testimonials kinda show that their life is good now..and really hopefully it's really good for them, just wish we cld catch up once in a while..just th 5 of us....like the old times when we had hml in pri skl...sigh.


i dont noe, but words cant describe how i feel now...I wanna pick up the phone and call ya, but wld u even recognise my voice..i wanan sms u but do u keep my no. still...it's really true when they say friends come and go...and no matter how much u want them to stay...sigh.ya, just hope they are happy and well...as well as their families...argh.i miss then hell lot. damn it.


now, the thing i fear is if it happens to my tk friends...all those that i've been closed to especially...
even my ex 2e2 friends like radziah, marlia, nad, shearer, atikah, azidah, safiyah, aishah,syafiqah.
and now i fear...
a lot other more of them. esp the VIII, lala, didi, anoi, biggie, kecik ..sigh.




suddenly i feel very sad.

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 5:23:00 pm:.

yeay...left one last paper tmr... great great, cant wait..but tmr's paper is AO malay paper so shd be ok...anyway rasyida took it already she said it's do-a-ble. how do u spell dat anyway..
hmm, actually i think i can at least have and A level pass for two sub..Maths and Malay A paper..at least dats what i hope ahh..not quite what i expected...econs is so screwed up..sigh, and i studied that the hardest... stupid. nvm.

end of common test somehow reminds me of start of PW again..crap...but nvm, must always think on the positive side..as what Pram wld say, haha...great guy he is, always so friendly to me on msn..then we'll share eminem songs and all....so whats the positive side..hmm, inter house netball starting! yea im not taking part. but umpiring.which reminds me there's a a basic umpiring course offered to us netballers...actually i wanna go, btu the cost is like 85 bucks...EIGHTY-FIVE BUCKS. mamawill never allow. if i were to come up with my own money, dats it laa, its fasting month for the rest of the year...but i still wanna go.. but nvm. i can do without it i guess... anyway, not to mention i cannOT wait for this saT..watching a lot like love with tk netballers...haha, usually lovers watch those kinda movies, but nvm we love each other so yea... then sunday having this darul maqwa thing at eunos..and monday, oh well.monday.no plans yet. maybe sleep and rot.haha.

hmm, actually today i was kinda hurt by the insensitivity of some people...haha, but when i was gg home, bought myself u noe the 50cents chendol mr softee...haiiz...melts in my mouth, ok enough to make me happy for the day...i realise that im very easy to please. ahaha.is that good or bad..


oops. i better go memorize peribahasa at least...

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 4:24:00 pm:.
...
whao.im really slacking my ass off. haha. just came back from watching batman begins at junction 8 with ALL my 3 siblings..yeay...and now im watching spiderman..double yeay..i really really dont wanna study..just gonna go in and take the exam lahh..wads the pt of last-minute studying righhttt..haha...ok im just self-comforting..oops. ;)

but im feeling ok now. which is good. yeay. to all those having cts this week, good luck!

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 8:03:00 pm:.

ah.crap.i have no mood to study today.the nearer cts are the lazier i am.weird rite.
anyway,


if i was to be given a choice to choose a superpower..

i'd choose to fly...

coz then..

i'd be able to fly to u whenever i feel sad...

or happy...

like now...

i'd fly just to give u hugg...

i wouldn't have to cry alone no more...

but in just a few seconds i can cry on your shoulder..

or vice versa anyway...

you'll be the first to know if smth bad happened..

or smth good..

i'll be able to be there for u...

and not to forget...

i'll be able to go round this beautiful world Allah has created...









I want to FLY.

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 11:41:00 am:.
...
yeay. there's nothing wrong with my ear! alhamdulillah.. :) just hope it wont get infected then everything shd be alright. yupyup.
today went back to TK. it was like a few stops away i was on 76 and i felt excited that i was gg back to skl!! EXCITED. haha. i guess it shows how much i miss it there. yeah, when i entered the game, just felt this warm fuzzy sayu feeling in me, like all the memories of 4 years rushed back in me within that split second.haiiz. oh well.that's besides the point. not much changes to the school except the GO i guess. anyway, collected my o level cert.kinda no feeling about it anymore. like dah basi tho' it's just lasT year we took Os. yeah, so got it and tossed it in my bag so yah end of story. haha.tried to ask for zawiyah's cert(YA SHE still hasn't taken it that girl.kelakar sey.) but she has to take it herself or smth like that since it's been 1 year in the GO. haha. anyway, walked walked around the skl for a while with fizah,rasheilla and zhiyen and then saw MISS TAN!! or MRS tan.aha...went to HUGGG her. yeay.i think she and zhiyen a bit the same. ok nvm weird tot. anyway, the FUNNY thing was after she ask one or two qns about me, the next qn was "U WANT TO COME BACK NIKE TRAINING ? " -_-" LOL. just seems funny la. of all things, nike. ya, of coz it did occur in my mind once in awhile, not to mention consistent pestering from weel when i met her that day, and of coz the thought of being able to see some of the VIII peepz whom i've come to love so dearly(aww) at least once a week is really great, but really i dont see the point of gg anymore..im really not gonna cont netball after jc. i think. yah. and Nike just isn't my thing. it's great and all really, especially when i hear the VIII talking boud it or writing in their blog.i just dont feel right. anyway, i dont think i can cope plus i've got religious class on sat nights during the training itself. so yeah, i cant make it.



im hoping and prayinng i can go umrah after taking A levels. kinda wanna find my path. somehow.

anyway.what do ya think of this thought. angels are not white. nor are they black. but they're colourful. haha. i mean they can be colourful ryte? no one has seen angels before...how do u noe it's white...

i'm sick of studying. did i say that already? hmm i cant remember. i cant wait for interclass netball to start, tho i never take part. but yeah, im unpiring.. *TIME!!* haha. *winks at VIII*

crap. i was so near lala's house today i shou;d have just popped by, i miss her. :( stupid me.

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 6:52:00 pm:.
...
kecik whose name is also hanisah, just wote me a testimonial and my bigger NSmen bro happened to see it and commented this
"i didn't know u can write testimonials for urself"

-_-"

ahakz. tho it's quite funny...haha.. of coz he kena pinch from me la. haha. kenerrr dierr...irritate me some more. haha.
anyway, tmr im finally gg to take my o level cert as well as go to changi general hospital to check on my ears...my bro's going for another operation...i hope mine is not so serious, i really really dont want to face another oh-so=PAIN operation. serious,pain like what. i wld say like hell, but hell's pain is surely undescribable. grr. scary. ok.digressing. maybe fizah and zhiyen will follow me tmr, haha..they say wanna follow me, but i'm not sure...tho its close to fizah's house.
anyway, thankx really to adib,azra,zhiyen,fizah and even rahsheilla for helping me in my maths and econs. at least now i feel a bit safer. im seriously brain dead. but still got malay A to go. anyway, i shouldnt be here now. so byebye.


jibbie!!!haha. i was almost about to ask my bigger brother who is a sergeant whether his new recruits are gonna be jc students and in particular one who used to take bus no. 28. haha. oops. luckily i didn't or he'd suspect and kill me.

ahh, i love bus 28 so much more than bus 13. haha. is that a sign? :P

ok la, really bye now.

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 8:32:00 pm:.
...
awww, look at my pet...hahahaha, cute eh? reminds me of minmin's craze over hamster and all...my very own jibbiee...i think im really gg mad. hah. got it from my smaller bro's blog...ahakz. if only it was real. haha. ok i didn't just say that.



yeay.im watching charmed. oh sharks, i need to go back skl to take O level cert by this FRIDAY. suddenly tk seems so far now that aj is so near. haha.

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 9:09:00 pm:.
...
ahh..tmr's class outing is cancelled...due to many ppl wanting to mug for common tests next week, apparently all last min revission..like me? oops...haha, but tmr me and fizah gonna study in skl library.so yup.some reassurance for me, i cant study at home for nuts.

zhiyen just called in the aft just now saying that me, her and jiamein are supposed to meet miss tan on sat in the morning...shit. i fear the worst is here.i feel inferior and demoralised...it's like i dont noe if i have the ability to lead...ya ok primary skl i was capt, bt that was dif...in fact it remind sme of my own weakness...i remember i was like crying at the concourse at my skl after one match coz of someone in my team dat time...yea, i seriously still remember the feeling.i felt isolated and alone and like a usless freak who failed la. oh no. this whole thing is actually scaring me.

and suddenly im like missing all the coaches who once taught me. and all my teammates.. :( and all those games at dunman sec...argh.

uh-oh.my dearest sister commented that my life is all about netball.my blog si full of netball? realli meh? u shd see fana's. haha. it's much much worse.right fana? haha..

of coz there's other stuff..like me and my unrequitted love life...haha. secretly waiting patiently praying hoping for him one day. =)

there are two things that are haunting me now. onE: that stupid pass at toa payoh sports hall is still killing me inside. two: the words that "i wun be surprise if the guy doesnt love you". that really hurts inside. :(

im really looking forward to studying tmr.
ryte.
at least its with fizah :D

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 10:15:00 pm:.

yeay...what a wonderful trip... :) now im feeling so refreshed and ready to meet the challenges in the future...chehhh, yeah right...haha...i just feel better :) maybe all i needed was some new fresh air,even though just Desaru..haha...
reached jb quite late on sat..ard 8++?? luckily sempat maghrib...then what else, makan la... haha.. after that played twister with my cousins...i just love playing with da small ones...cute la.....after dat watched a movie, then ard 1 plus dah penat giler so just went to sleep la..5 of us on one bed, gosh was it cramped..haha...
next day wake up set off to desaru!! but was kinda disappointed coz the waves there wasn't so great..only the seabed was great and the water was like masin to the max!! (as quoted by banu...haha..) ohh, how cld iforget...before that cik sudin's jeep? or was it a truck? (haha) got stuck in the sand!! both the back tyres sunk down into the sand, we like tried so many ways to pull it out then a few people came over to help...yeah, but all our methods never work la...after like 1 hour of tryin gwe gave up? haha..we left it like that then cik sudin ask all the budakbudak(including me:P) to just go and bathe in the sea...so shiok...when we came up, the jeep was out of the sand already..apparently, they asked the hlp of this guy who had a lorry and used a rope to tie the 2 vehicles together and then pull it out of the sand...yeap...and then guess what?? two other cars got stuck too!! haha...they shd really ban cars from gg down to the beach...anyway, after bathing and all, went to play GO-KART!! at first they all played, then ok la i also join in...the smaller ones took the normal go-kart cars..but the bigger ones and me took like a tractor? haha, so nana hopped on behind me and off we went..so shiok again..hahhaa... but the engine near my ankle was so hot it was burning my feet...ahakz, but fun laa..
then after that we dropeed by this very bluey mosque that is so hugeeee.... so nice...and then came the best part ---- me, nana, and nazira sat at the back of the jeep all the way back to my auntie's house at jb...ahhh, can still feel the wind...best giler... :) that was the best feeling ever..
now im back home..tired,but refreshed in a way....didi and anoi ajak-ed me to go airport to study, but really dont feel like mmoving my butt to go anywhere today..lain kali eh? :P
hmm, hope tmr's 3905 class outing still on....and wonder how nsl went..shall ask zhiyen.. ohh, HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY TO JOW ZHI YEN!! :D hope u like the present i gave u... :) 2 of the most impt ppl in my life now has birthdays two days apart...pokai la ehhh..ahaha...ok la, shall go help mama unpack..

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 10:28:00 am:.
...
i went to the ZOO today!! :)
haha..

i want a pet...but obviously mama wont let me have one.so sad. just want something to hug and kiss and talk to..it gets lonely sometimes...(haha reminds me of zawiyah saying she talks to cats...sorri zaw! haha...) it wld keep me company...or maybe i want a nice little alien to come from outer sapce and be my friend.. like STITCH! aww, that'd be nice...i'll always have smth to hug... hMPh...so lonely.

anyway, HAPPY ADVACED BIRTHDAY LALA!!!! :D **may all ur wishes and dreams come true, and may you panjang umur,murah rezeki and always have love and happiness all around you** :D ahh, the naughty girl she is. :P

i think im gg johore tmr. to cik ton's house.yeap...hope it'll be fun.

oHHHH and anyway, AJC MALAY DRAMA is on the 22nd july 2005 in the evening. anyone want to come? tickets anyone??? beLI LAHHH.... :P

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 8:52:00 pm:.
...
"they can say anything they want to say
try to bring me down
but i will not allow
anyone to succeed
hanging clouds over me
and they can try
hard to make me feel that i
dont matter at all
but i refuse to fall
doing what i believe
or lose faith in my dreams..."

argh. it's so hard to hold on to this song.this song that used to mean so much to me at one point in time. but now, when it really really happens, it's hard.it hurts.bad.
i've been hurt bad.


i feel like a deflated balloon.


i need sum1 to pump some air back into me. :'(

i felt like shouting, screaming, cursing when i heard those words. i felt so angry and so hurt...
he said to me.."ur fikiran so serong"

and the best was this: "you know, i wun be surprise if the guy doesnt love you"

and to further deepen the wounds, "cos you realy got some attitude problem"
"grow up."

"ur just blind"







OUCH. OUCH. OUCH. i guess this is the first time someone has actually thrown these kinda words to me....and im wondering if it's true. will i not be loved, becoz i haf an attitude that sux, i need to grow up and i'm BLInd. Maybe i am. but one thing's for sure is that i dont DONT have to hear it from him. especially not from him, who is actually the newest entry to my life? like 7 days old...it hurts so bad. i was up till 3am just thinking and thiking bout what he said.am i really like that? argh. shit.
HANISAH get a grip on urself. i feel so alone today....

all i ever want is to lead a simple life....

damn it.

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 11:38:00 am:.
...
i miss VIII. a lot. :'(

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 2:32:00 pm:.
...
omg im so addicted to this song...


*'Cause it's my night
No stress, no fights
I'm leavin' it all behind
No tears, no time to cry
Just makin' the most of life***
Everybody is livin' it up
All the fellas keep lookin' at us ('cause)
Me and my girls on the floor like what
While the DJ keeps on spinnin' the cut
It's like that y'all (that y'all), that y'all (that y'all)
It's like da da da da, I like that y'all (that y'all)I
t's like that y'all (that y'all), that y'all (that y'all)
It's like da da da da, I like that y'all (that y'all)**


ahh, the beat rocKs...so does the bridge...!! best nyer dengar lagu nie... anyways, today rocks...yeaH,havent said this in a longg time...sAW taufik batisah at toa payoh!!! haha, of coz we all got excited, seriously it does not Look like him... i kept on insisting that salah orang and farah kept on insisting that it's him...we were so loud atract dier nyer attention..so anyway, scrap the details in the end, farah and syida took pic with him.. ahakz..oh well, and i survived training!! whao, so did the rest of theM... it's not dat tuff, but first training after a loong break...then watched the drama after that..their making a v good progress..kelakar giler.. haha the flops and all...wish i cld be in two plaes at once.. :( but takper...their doing great..they shd be ready by end of july..yupz.

haha, and to spice up my great day, im gg to eat ice-cream!! yeay!! and watch charmed at the same time...uh huh, nothing's gonna bother me todaY :)

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 7:20:00 pm:.
...
**somebody shake me coz i must be sleeping**
1 week of holz gone just like that...but i guess it was a v useful one week, in a sense that AB camp was really useful...learnt a lot, practical stuff, tho the physical shit is really shitty...haha...but oh well, it's over..makes me consider whether next year wanna sign up as an instructor(hmm.. instructor hanisAH..haha, sounds funny) anyway, seriously got no mood to give details, but all in all it was a great experience. :) learnt a lot bout leadership stuff and all...yeah...cheYenNe cheYenne walk like giants... muakhakaakha...got feedback that why is cheyenne giants when dakota is the one that has the giants.. *oops* hehe..oh well, now back to reality... just now had econs mkae-up...xuemin gave me a picture that she developed-xuemin,parn and me...kinda touched ahh..the pic rocks..gonna put it somewhere special...its hard to imagine that one day there'd only be two of us me and xuemin in the picture...parn, gonna miss u to bits man... *sobz*

been enjoying myself and then feeling guilty...hah, that is so me... last sat morn went yishun park for the carnival, the 300m world record eating rojak thingey was quite kewl, 1st time experience that kinda thing...just nice to see everyone, poeple whom u dont noe sitting down together packed 300m long eating ROJaK..ahakz...anyway, the carnival was great...our booth was a success! really great planning to those ppl who planned for it! 3 CHEers! yeay... hahz, then after that had dinner with the aj netballers at seoul garden, dont noe whatsup with seoul garden and netballers..seems that both tk and aj netballers like to go there..hehz.. yeah, it was kinda like a miss ong farewell and xiao de and mel's bdae as well..haiz..hope mel really gets well, she din come dat day...suspected of dengue i think...*prays* anyway, also for jiao lian to show our appreciation to her...yep. so anyway, after dinner, xiao tong gave a speech to miss ong..think if i was miss ong, i wld be very touched.. :P and then, i read from jiao lian's card in chinese...eh,mandarin! haha, there was actually a piece ogf paper that had the hanyu pinyin...kehkehkhekhe...but hid it from jiao lian....zhenyun prepared it for me..haha, thankx ah...then the rest helped me out in a way or another, to mkae the whole thing a success in a way.. :)
yeah, then sunday went town and watched movie with all the cuz...another walking day. reminds me of AB camp land expedition walked from school to bedok reservoir "-_- yeah...thankx to kakak an for the treating us.! :P
im seriously broke after mel,jiao lian,missong and xiaode's bdae present..ahhhh..and ml camp gotta pay another 10 bucks...i wanna work. if only i had the time..haiz, so anyway, another hectic week up ahead... just jope i'll be smiling throughout this whole week. and yeah, im thinking of u. =)

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 4:35:00 pm:.
...