sigh.

i have to clock 10 hours per week of studying (not including homework, tutorial) AND report to miss tan every friday coz im at the bottom two for results among the netballers...in uder some apst thing which im not even sure stands for what. great. just great. like im not buzy enough already with trainings and stuff...sigh. and i was asked whether my second cca was taking up too much time..sobz. i dont know hoe im gonna fit 10 hours into my schedule but i'll find a way. how boud study in the train 10 minutes, eating and studying at the same time..HAH! i wish i cld get paid $$$ for being a full-time mugger...lol.


well, at least i've finished reading harry potter..ahakz.

looks like i wont be online so much then... =(

eh. I MISS LIANA. *sobz* i feel like that sister of mine is studying halfway across the world.hoping ur okayy and well and happy.

this week's SL better go as planned.


***please dont lead me to danger zone. dont make me fall for you, coz it'll be painful i just noe it*** **too afraid**

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 7:58:00 pm:.
...
irritaing anonymous whom i though was real who tagged on my board is the irritating mARK LAM. alamak, i thought it was real la...luckily i didn't fall for his trick and take off the video...

and QIXIANG!!! u ah. enough of zhiyen telling me two facts about the harry potter book even before i read it and qixiang!! dont tell me anymore!! i wanna finish reading today.!!

leong parn is also irritating. LOL.

ok lah. im also irritating. considering irritated some other people. heh.

wah.this library is damn cold i can barely type.

tmr's the class bbq, hope everything goes well, and everyone can come..leong parn, if u read this u better come!!

maybe later shall ask the malay A ppl to go for lunch at amk central..yeay, gathering again..!! life is so FUN! right.

im in need of chocolates..especially the new caramel, almond nutty snickers!! oh no, is my mouth watering....i want chocolaTE!! (somebody wld ask me to eat myself..grr)

im wondering whether i shd tell my brother im gg to tekong this coming wed or give him a surprisee...hmm, so long neva see him... i bet kak fizah misses him even more...awwm, so sweet...a girl waiting for an army guy to return home..ahakz.

ok lah. im freezing.gotta get outta here.

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 8:46:00 am:.
...
yeay...in skl libray now, researching about PW stuff...boring..

and i just realise got no time to updat...two periods of MaLAY. yeaY? lol.

ok lah...

this is a lame entry but nvm..

take care alls.

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 9:55:00 am:.
...




wheeee....

it's really wasted ahh, that didn't have a really COMPLETE photo with everyone (some cast were missing) the alumni, usherers, even cikgu-cikgu la eh...but oh well, this is better than nothing right..but still so sayang...coz to me pics are my memories of good stuff..and bad e=if i must add...ahakz.

i really cant wait to see the whole drama again on a cd..and also the tribute that sufian made...lol.

i think the sentence "kita masih boleh berunding" is gg to be with me for quite some time..ahakz.

and also goes for the other funny stuff and all..with all the other actors...ahh, they're just so good...

ok lah. enough about drama already. goodbye penjajah. *sobz* haha....

anyway, last sat went to watch the energiser netball league finals...extremes against labten and nike against sneakers...

the game between nike against sneakers realy reminded me of aj game with rjc during thirs and fourth placing...up by quite a bit in the first quater, and in the end, lost by two...sighs.

my homework ahh, really piling up..ahh, but im still gonna put on this positive mood/atittude..hahaz..must smile and smile and smile...my gift.lol.

just now was fasting and zawiah,anisah and fizah accompany me break fast...at amk central..then went to pray at the aml mosque..oops i dont noe wads the name..hehe. but there me and anisah was like saying that so tenang and peaceful there...the feeling of praying at home/school is so much different from praying at the mosque.. it's just so peaceful there.best! if only it was just right beside school, that'd be great manz..

ok lah. shall stop blogging and start my homework.

to xuemin: hey, really sorri that i always never join you guys for lunch or go out with you guys after school...now im slightly free-er (haha) than the past week now dat the drama is over so will make time yea. =)

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 10:18:00 pm:.
...
it was a memorable night... *grinz*
though i gotta admit that that is my first and last drama..haha...it was very fun and funny,(haha) but im just not the drama kind..
but now i think if i go for a drama production, i;ll be able to appreciate the drama more, and realise that just to perfect the drama night itself, they have to go through so much training, practises...and now, i'll even appreciate how good the director, scriptwriter, soundman, lightman(?) and all those backstage crew who are also so important to the drama...yup...
all of them acted very well.. =) *pats each one on the back* it was great being backstage hearing the audience laugh at all the funny parts..me and anisah laughing together too...alamak, dah rindu seh...haha..but the credit goes a lot to sufian and hafiz..yup..they work really really hard...and like suli said, they might even be mroe committed than us sometimes..ahakz..

oh well..it's over...one of the things that i'll remember and treasure when im outta aj.. =)

**sekolah jalan pemimpin** i want the booklet!!saper saper ader...please please pass it to me? =)

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 5:27:00 pm:.
...
hey...i feel like patting myself on the back. haha. i cheered myself up today..yeay...

must be strong..haha..cheh.

seriously just ignore all the little little things..

i think this phrase really works on me...

"if your life sux, think of it this way, there are many many many more people out there whose lives sux more than me. in many many other ways. and if i think my problems are too much and too hard to handle..wads the use of patience, kesabaran dat Tuhan has kurniakan to all of us...and also, there ARE so many many people out there with much much more problem than me..."

lol.self-encouragement.but it works you noe...

DRAMA in two days!!

interhz netball today shant comment la...actually in fact, i didn't even sign up to it, just tt the first game i played, and got tied down to it.especially now adeline's sick..kinda dng a favour to her as a replacement for her team ah, it's the least i cld do..tho the results show i didn't do much. haha.


i brought IT upon myslef and i shall face the consequences. AND enough of immaturity from me in terms of handling stuff a vbit of like stop STOP bururk sangka kan orang!! ok ok, must change that part of me...

ok. i love this song.just went to check out the lyrics...rockS! no meaning to anyone la, as in no there's no one in mind about we belong together, or "when you left I lost a part of me" coz no one really left me coz no ne entered. LOL. but the song's still nice... =)

I didn't mean it when I said I didn't love you so

I should've held on tight, I never should've let you go

But I did nothing

I was stupid, I was foolish

I was lyin' to myself

I could not fathom I would ever be without your love

Never imagined I'd be sittin' here beside myself

Cause I didn't know you, and I didn't know me

But I thought I knew everything

I've never felt



Bridge:

The feeling that I'm feeling now that I don't hear your voice

Or even touch and kiss your lips cause I don't have a choice

What I wouldn't give to have you laying by my side

Right here,

Cause baby



Hook:

When you left I lost a part of me

It's still so hard to believe

Come back baby please, cause

We belong together

Who am I gonna lean on when times get rough

Who's gonna talk to me on the phone til the sun

comes up

Who's gonna take your place

Baby nobody else

Oh, baby, baby

We belong together



Verse 2:

I can't sleep at night

When you are on my mind

Bobby Womack's on the radio

Singin' to me

'If you think you're lonely now'

Wait a minute this is too deep, too deep

I gotta change the station

So I turn the dial tryin' to catch a break

and then I hear Baby Face

I only think of you

It's breakin' my heart

I'm tryin' to keep it together

But I'm fallin' apart



I'm feelin' all out of my element

Throwin' things,

Cryin' tryin' to figure out

Where the hell I went wrong,

The pain reflect in this song

Ain't even the half of what I'm feelin' inside

I need you, need you back in my life

baby



Hook:

When you left I lost a part of me

It's still so hard to believe

Come back baby please, cause

We belong together

Who am I gonna lean on when times get rough

Who's gonna talk to me on the phone til the sun comes up

Who's gonna take your place

Baby nobody else

Oh, baby, baby

We belong together

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 10:17:00 pm:.
...
i cant believe i fell sick today..it was supposed to be a good day to start of the good week..but things come unexpectedly i guess...


i like the schools' sickbay...way better than tk one...i would have slept like a log if not for the noise outside though..its amazing how ppl can cause noise pollution..

slept for two hours at the sickbay..missed Zuhur..wonderful...then thought i had the nergy to go for drama...but a lot of ppl were advising me to go home and rest and yah, my head was spinning and killing me...so in the end called mama up to ask whether she cld fetch me...

maybe it's a good thing that i fell sick..at least im speaking to her again..hahaz..

im in no mood to do anything....

my homeworks piling up again... i dont get a thing about whats gg on in econs now.. MOnOpoLy?? i wish t was as simple as playing the game monopoly...

i managed to swallow down the freaking panadol pill after cutting it into 4 pieces..haha..that's right. 4 small pieces...and i still had a hard time.. some things are just phoebia...

at least now im feeling a bit better..

think i'll skip pe tmr..

and maybe try to train..

wonder how drama went...really wanted to go...sometimes i overestimate my own strength...keep thinking that im strong im strong but ina ctual fact im not...

**kaki aku busuk**

**tapi...hati kau wangi**


dont noe why but i think that's just very very sweet....LOL.

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 9:13:00 pm:.
...
for all those who tagged my board with words of comfort...


thank you...

its really appreciated... :D

these small things really perk ur day up yeah...

:)


:)


:)


i'll start smiling that smile again, insya-Allah....

to fizah, i promise you.i'll take care of myself.it's a promise for keeps.

to qixiang, you are what i call a really good example of dont judge a book by its cover...im glad to have a friend like you...toh and btw, hope you get your gal.. *winks* haha..thankx pal.. =)

to weel, ur right...gotta be strong for the team..how are u anyway..*ponders*

dont noe why but suddenly thought of this song....


tommy oage- a shoulder to cry on.
Life is full of lots of up and downs
But the distance feels further
When it’s headed for the ground
And there’s nothing more painful
Then to let your feelings take
You down

It’s so hard to know
The way you feel inside
When there’s many thoughts
And feelings that you hide
But you might feel better
If you let me walk with you
By your side

Chorus:

And when you need
A shoulder to cry on
When you need
A friend to rely on
When the whole world is gone
You won’t be alone
I’ll be there
I’ll be your shoulder to cry on
I’ll be there
I’ll be your friend to rely on
When the whole world’s gone
You won’t be alone ’cause I’ll be there

All of the times
When everything is wrong
And your feeling like
There’s no use going on
You can’t give it up
I’ll help you work it out
And carry on

Side by side
With you till the end
I’ll always be the one
A shoulder to cry on continued

To firmly hold your hand
No matter what is said or done
Our love will always continue on


Chorus:

Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on
Everyone needs a friend to rely on
When the whole world’s gone, you won’t be alone
’cause I’ll be there
I’ll be your shoulder to cry on
I’ll be there
I’ll be the one to rely one
When the whole world’s gone, you wont be alone
’cause I’ll be there
And when the whole world is gone
You’ll always have my shoulder to cry on


lets just say this weeK.no more tears. sunshine all theeee way...haha, reminds me of remember the titans i watched yest nite...

ok lah.im actually quite tired...so i shall go sleep now..
im actually feeling better now...

later wake up and proabbly gonna do hwk...

ooh, and i forgot, it's sucha waste we pulled out from the street netball at NUS.. coz it was postponed due to the rain...dat skl is huge sia...


and i still have 6 more days to bayar puaser!! monday, puaser anyone?


ok...

good morning theN.

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 6:39:00 am:.



gosh...this was done by weeling...she's so pro...it's realy realy nice...from our tooty nerdy face in 2002..to 2003...to 2004...and finally 2005... i love it...the rush of memories in those years some sort of put a warmth in my heart that i cant describe that made me cry...again...

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 6:34:00 am:.
...
blardy heck stop banging all the utensils in the kitchen la.

ARGH.

i so want to vent my anger too okay.

ur not the only one whose angry..

damn it.

freak.

sharks

haiiz.

spoil my day. what a way to end the day. i wish i didn't come home today....what for go home if all u face is that nonsense...what FOR. i wish i had the nerve to just runaway.the truth is i dont. haha. i wish i cld be like lala.i wish i didn't have this feeling of always needing to be at my best la, keeping up the family's reputation la...becoz i noe if i did do smth, the news will spread like wildfire to all my cousins,aunties,uncles...argh.im just so angry la..sighX.

i wanna go out..there's no one here. no one.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok. i just had to do that.


one week to drama...im really proud of them all...so much progress. =) just hope everything will run smoothly on that day....


and...


there's a slight impatience in me nowadays.


what is up with me...gosh. i think it's only when i get home, or on the way home then i feel this way...i actually feel fine at skl.


leadership is the cause of loneliness..

haha.im having a conversation with zhiyen now and typing randomly boud our conversation

i wish i can speak madarin fluently and understand it well. ..then maybe one of my problem can be solved...

lerr..wads wrong wtih me nowadays..so sensitive...every little thing also i sensitive..gosh wads wrong with me...

wadda heck is wrong with me..

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 10:14:00 pm:.
...
some things need time to heal and to forget...

and sometimes, to live this life, we have to look away from our problems and realise something.. and that something is what i realised today...

it has never been easy for her to be raising 4 kids almost "by herself"..most other families have husbands and wifes that can support each other...haiiz.my dad.my baba. *shrugz*

but mama, is whom i dearly love. which is why everytime i hurt her..or she says something..it's those things that hurt most...


and again and again i try and try to understand her, and understand what she has to go through alone, and understand that she only loves us, her children and she depends on us...and particularly me to take care of my adik2...

but again and again i disappoint her...i just find it so hard to cope with everything at skl and at home at the same time...i try and try to laugh and smile..and really i can get so crazy at home singing out so loud. i try to be the clown.i am the clown at home. i wanna see them laugh at me doing stupid things...

but when these issues come in, i noe, i havent been the best sister or daughter...i know that i have failed. considering the thing that just passed...

but now i noe, i have to be more sensitive to her...spend more time...not complain so much.help more with my smaller brother to lessen her worries...my sister...help her with her share of housework...then at least i can say that i have done my part...

i guess it's time to change...to be better..

but, i still need time to heal that cut in my heart...the sound of my sobbing is still in my ears..it's so not me...

mama. aku sayang mu. i promise to be better.i pray you'll forgive me if i did hurt u dat day. sighX.

insya-Allah everything will be ok.

yes it will be. anyway, nowadays everythings so packed..yaeh, i'll be ok..

to all those sad out there, haha, look away from the problem, maybe u'll see something else besides the problem.a lesson maybe.

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 7:59:00 pm:.
...
ahh,let's just say i havent been in high spirits lately...or better still,the total opposite of high spirit...and this keyboard of this computer in the ml room sux...but i shall be thankful at least its here for use...yah.ok. it's just my family.sigh..tapi tak per...enough of cryinga whole bucket yest and today even..haha, it's actually good that somepeople cant tell between my watery eyes and real tears...sighX. i dont realli wanna write about my mum here, about all this, it'll go into my personally diary..

but, thank you dearest zawiyah and hafizah for the really really nice card thatim gg to keep in my file for the next two years...and the choki chocs too..ahakz. reminded me of rury and weeling who once gave me somekinda "encouragement" card which lasted and gave me encouragement in the whole sec 4 year....love ya loads man zaw and fizah...it's gonna help.serious. look, im already smiling.....

today: drama and interhz netball plus practise for strreet netball...im gonna survive it, smiling, i hope...

and there's this issue that's been bugging me for so long...ever since i joined netball...im kinda keeping it, but one day i fear it's gonnaa blow sia...entah lah.










haiiz.but i'll always remember 12/05/2005....
samapi hatimu membuatku begitu.....


sigh.


**when ur down, the only other way is up.**

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 2:45:00 pm:.
...
gosh, its been a loNG time since i went to Jemputan orang kahwin...just went today...entah aper pasal today felt like going...so i went...and seriously the malay weddings nowadays are jst so modern and all, kinda awed... haha...

i think i kinda tend to abandon my blog once term starts...haha, coz now i realli dont feel like updating.... no mood...there's just too much other things to do...like sleep. haha. after running 4k today...i wanna sleep NOW. still early tho...


ok lah, i shall not be so jiwang today..even if i feel like it.. :S

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 8:32:00 pm:.
...
freak.it's so freaking hot though i just took a bathe...i want another bathe. oh man, these are the times when u desire airc-on in ur room and a fan just aint enough. sigh.


haii..im so tired...lets just say, today is indeed fun, but at the same time, hectic, tiring and even stressful...


haii.sometimes its so hard to face the truth.

i wanna learn mandarin.

dont feel like updating.

im feeling itchy

maybe i'll go bathe again.

is the temperature like 35 degrees or something..

sigh.

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 11:25:00 pm:.
...
a whole month of the supposed-to-be FUN june holidays crammed into oe day, toDAy.

had loadsa fun.even tho today really the cramps was like sakit sakit SAKIT!!! but i still survived =) and had fun. and was happy. =) went to east coast with shy, didi, nana, kecik...it was great really, catching up with theM. i brought my/my sister/my brother (haha) roller baldes with me... boy, was it heavy bringign from bishan, to bedok then to east coast.. but in the emd i didn't blade.. i still havent learnt it yet, so i figured if i were to blade while the cycle, i think they'll reach bedok jetty while im still struggling 10m away fromt he rent shop..ahakz. so shy was kind enuf to pay for me my rented bike, while she went off with my blades...yeay. =) thankx shy. =) then when the cramps got worse, stop a while at this [atch of lovely green green grass and i had to sit down so i tok care of the bicycles while the rest went to panjat pokok. or at least they tried to. ahakz. so i stone there la in pain. haha. but the breeze was nice, and the beach of course. =) seriously , it was a test of endurance manz. and then after that, they came back, we talked and crapped and laughed and mengumpat as usual. OOPS. haha. im so bad. ok la, it was more like eh this girl got bf already.so unexpected.ya noe dat kinda thing...and then, continued cycling the x-country route.then went to bedok jetty, apparently they extended the thing. i swear one day i wanna go fishing. ANYONE INTERESTED? tho i have no clue how to do it, what to bring and all...haha...but wanna try. =) the WIND there was SUPEr sUper GReAT GREAT! sigh, wish i cpuld stay there, i'd build a small house of my own there just for the wind.ahakz. then it was like late so had to really rush back to return the bicycles.. yupZies.then the best part lepas tu Played Pool at parkway...fun-NEss. yeay....i guess im not that that Bad after all,cheh, ahaha, not that im good or anything, but at least i dont hit the ball out of the pool table...ahakz. that wld be bad...haha, it was fun la...yeay, up for pool anyonE? fun, not competitive please. ahakz.


then went home.

and reality sunk iN on the way in the bus.


i love long bus rides.

can think.

and reminice.

haiiz. ok la, seriously, tmr's back to skOOL. and the real studying again. sighX.

oh well. face it lahHHH. to everyone else in jc specially, happy skooling. right.

im still having crAMps. crap crap crap. PAIN. sighx.

anyway. just thought of this,

my past was my dreams, my present is my awakening. and my future is reality.

kinda has some meaning to me. haha, to me lah.

oh well, k laH. time to iron clothes.

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 9:02:00 pm:.
...
im damn pissed at someone now. haiiz.but i know it's just me.i hafta be patient..

patience HUNN.come on.

sighX..

anyway, i did have fun today tho.at the darul ma'wa charity carnival at eunos today...tho it was kinda tiring picking up all the horribly disgusting cans that still drips of the sweet water inside.(so meleket!!) and digging for those tennis balls that are equally disgusting, but i did have fun. and also even tho one of tennis balls got hit bullz-eye right at my right eye...ouch, but ya i still had fun...haha.ok la, im pretty much not in the mood for updating now...still pissed. it's like everything is confirmed, and then just becoz of one person we hafta change the hwole thing and accomodate. freak la. haiiz.ok, patience.

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 8:33:00 pm:.
...
went out with VII Today..as usual, our eating time together is usually when we always crap..haha, somehow we'll always find smth to laugh about, though really if we tell it to someone else i dont think they'd find it funny...hahah.ok lah. had a great time reALLy.our camerawomen are always on the go, capturing every memory we have together. :D like lx and qn biting the cherry(one biting the end of the cherry and the other had to bite the chrry off the other end) haha..cute la...then after that faRHANAG GHAFAR had to leave. and we missed the group shot, tho we did take neos la...but nvm. enuf toturing her with the cherry and additional extra nice toppings on it.. heh*grinz* anyway watched a lot like love after that...it was great.so funny. k la shant spoil it for those who havent watched, go catch it. made my eyes water, but not cry. haha.. ok lah, im kinda tired now..raeched home aroud 9.40...and then watched some really really stupid malay drama on suria, and i dont noe why i spent 1.5 hours watching it..


i finally cleared up my room this morning.and hung up the "key" from the sec 4 farewell present..haha...AND, my cupboard is so neat now. so proud. haha.


tmr 2pm darul maqwa stuff..we are mending a games stall i think.yup. and wads best is we are wearing AJ PE SHIRT.yes, the blue-and-YELLOW one. why cant we just wear the mldds shirt!! it's like 10 times nicer than the pe shirt.ok laa, i understand we hafta wear smth skl based and all, but we already have the mldds shirt, dah dapat compliment pon from the makcik canteen saying our shirt is nice..haii.watever la. pe shirt it is then..

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 11:18:00 pm:.
...