kiamulai yesterday, or today 3am has really given me a new source of inspiration to live this life and be strong at every obstacle.
somehow at the masjid yesterday it wa so peaceful i cried.
but i was dead tired after that. especially after helping out in the buying and packing of stuff to give the fakir miskin. im still tired. but, my mood has lifted.

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 5:15:00 pm:.
...
yes i do look like a panda and need more sleep. somehow, its after promos yet there's still so much stuff to do, malay hwk is ever piling up, i wish the exam on monday would just come quickly so that i can gett it ove rand done with. its not that im scared but the hwk is just too much for these past week! especially with OP, and helping out with mama at home for hari raya, and needing to settle so many netball stuff, the proposals blah blah, the undesired stuff happening. and the emotions are the worst part that is weighing me down. plus all that's been happening, i barely have time to sit down and read the book that i've been wanting to read and finish up. there's always something croppping up that needs attention and there i go putting the book down when im like at the climax or smth.


im glad my jc1 year is officially over. sadly, it ended on a bad friday, but why judge like over a 100 days based on one day?

i didn't go doctor in the end.mama said it was just another tembel, and its too minor. and everything else like my lethargic-ness is prolly due to my lack of sleep and feeling all worked up. so yeah, i gave the 4km run today a miss and went home for a long-awaited rest. happy to say at least im feeling a bit better now. =)

i was actually touched when i didnt give a good OP presentation today, and mrs ong said i was under performing, and a few voices spoke up for me saying im feeling tired and all. thankx. you noe who you are =) appreciate it lots.

i've been pulled down by sum stuff lately.but i'll pull through.. i skipped GP lect today and wrote a long letter, one dat i remember last writing in secondary school. just hope it cleared things up a bit.

im feeling not as capable as people think of me to be. when i came to JC, what i most wanted was an ordinary life with TIME to spend with friends. but i guess fate? haha. i'll make the best of what i've been given. =)







and as i realised long ago but repeated the same mistake again, i trust too easily till its me who get hurt in the end. i feel betrayed by you.

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 7:56:00 pm:.
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forgotten.

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 6:17:00 am:.
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When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.

There is no life - no life without its hunger;
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;
But when you come and I am filled with wonder,
Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.










what an inspiring song.

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 11:09:00 pm:.
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VJ gives second chances. all those who didnt make it gets to have a re-test.

i dont see why aj cannot do it. so much for maintaing school standards.

ya, ok , maybe they can say that "oh they deserve it" or "oh, this is to teach them a lesson.to make them work harder"..but to be separated from your own buds and into a whole new co-hort and atmosphere, dont they think that will only make them feel hate developing towards the school..wats so wrong with a re-test in aJ? if they get to pass that re-test then it will still occur to them that like hey i almost didn't promote last year so this year i'll do better right? isnt that what the school wants. seriously sometimes retaining is just a waste of time. half of the year, probably doing nothing coz they already noe half of the topics if not all, and the PW periods all just wasted, all the orientation period and what not. if you can give some of them a re-test why not give all? what the difference? what if the ones that wasnt selected for a re-test actually can do better than the ones that was selected for the re-test.it's just so wrong. from 25 people in the beginning of this year, to 24, and now to 22?? and netball too. sigh.

i felt 38 was so united on friday.

BUT,


i really wish them all the best.that whatever it is, no matter how much tears, grief, anger, we will all still be friends. i dont seem to noe what to say anymore. sigh.

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 12:23:00 am:.
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im getting lazier and lazier to update.

in times like this i miss my diary more.haha.

this thing been bugging me for weeks now. dont noe but i just feel the distant feeling from you tho i see you practically every day. sigh. wasn't like last time. really it's either u changed or i changed. maybe i changed. too sensitive? maybe. sigh. dont noe what to sat no more..but everytime i see you, i get the feeling again. its just horrible, from being happy it's like deflating an expanding balloon. nevertheless, there's always ppl who will start inflating the balloon again and im really glad for these people in my life..but i hate this deflating and inflating and deflating and inflating again and again throughout the same day. it tires me up. is it just me? human actions affect me so much, especially those closest to me. i really hope things will get better between us, though maybe its just me feeling this feeling again. like whats new.

im feeling so bitter now. uh-oh.not a good feeling.

today - at least meeting the VIII was something good. was just remembering the last time during sec 4 farewell chalet after watching the video we actually sat down in each corner of the room and cried and cried that we were parting. it's quite funny come to think of it now. but the reality is we have parted in our own ways, it's been one year. wowz.close to one year at least. yet, though drifted apart coz we dont see each other every day, we dont noe whats gg on in each other's life sometimes, the fact still remains that we will grow up together. i imagine one day, VIII will meet up, maybe in our late 40s, with our children just chilling out maybe. or one day after work we all meet up in all our office wear and just have a cup of coffee together. though im not realli into coffee. haha. just a thought. then had to rush to mosque to go for ngaji. two hours passed so fast. mindscafe was cool though.


tmr - help cik tah move house. prolly gonna take from morning till late afternoo.then maybe gg with cuzzins to geylang to buy baju rayer maybe? and then meeting whats left of 4e4 malays who replied to the outing to buka puaser maybe at geylang too tmr.

and i have still yet to do my karangan and rangka karangan.it sux to be doing hwk after promos. hah. there's just no inspiration.

I and R and OP is killing me too. but, i noe im not alone.hah. like its not killing the rest of the J1s too. ;P

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 11:24:00 pm:.
...
i hope next week is a better week that the previous.though tmr's promo results are probably gonna determine the "betterness" of next week. hahZ.


can sumone tell me if the cheek is like the most sensitive part of the body or what. i think its not right? but why issit that if i get pinched or hit i dont cry.but if i get slapped, it's as though it send electricity to my eyes causing it to water like nobody's businesS? is there some scientific explanation behind the slapping actioN? particularly if its from ur mom. sheesh. i must have been a bad girl. did some reflections today. its time i did some self-improvement.

didn't join half of VIII at Weel's place today.almost wanted to change my plans, but LX said that they were probably gg to play mahjong...so yup. im not exactly a mahjong fan unlike the 7 of them,hahz.and anyway, it was at tamp, seems so far now that i havent been there in a longg time...maybe saturday i'll be meeting them. really hope so.there's so much to catch up on.but i gotta like leave at 2.30 to go to the kampung delta mosque for claz mengaji.im actually looking forward to it, but i wanna join VIII too. and i cant skip the class or im probably gonna get another slap.ahahhaa. luckily its somewhat near orchard...

oh manz.i still havent done what umairah asked me to do. the research on how people in India celebrate hari raya for the exhibition.and im supposed to give her tmr. i cant seem to find anything. and i still have a karangan due tuesday. oh man.

but i cant wait for trg tmr.probably gnna be half dead considering i'll be fasting. i need a workout.need to run.

and i still feel realli bad for always not joining them for their outings...to xuemin,sel,nat,seeming,kanyu...if u all read this, sorri !! everytime u all go out imm not there...hee,buzy woman.yup. but i'll try k! next time!
i havent really gone out even tho promos are over one week. hah. but im enjoying the leisure time at home. watched smallville season5 till episode 3 already, watched pearl harbour, charmed, shanghai knights...hahaha..that's one thing good about this weeK...

im acting as if there's no school tmr..oops. haha. ok, but just a few things to look forward to this weeK: 1) meeting VII!! 2) meeting tk 4e4 mates to buke puaser together!!! 3) errr...promo result tmr? 4) trainiNG! ahh.like that's about it.

to you if you're reading this, we will all be right behind ya.you can count on us okAY!! love ya! our prayers are with ya too. and everything will be alright, over before u noe it. i've went through it once, though minor, much more minor as compared to yours, but you'll do just fine. =) keep us updated okies. *huGZZZ*

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 11:32:00 pm:.
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there are good and bad people in this world.

i miss my mp3. my white WEWA mp3 that had my favourite songs.now, it's sucha lonely journey to school without music. argh argh argh. why are there bad people in this world who have to steal other people's belongings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it happened two days ago when i was hanging banner with the banner committee.(hazel cheeyong and zhiyen) my mp3 was in my bag and i left my bag with zhiyen's bag at block 3 3rd levell benches near the toilets. and then we went to hang the banner.and when i came back, it was gone gone gone! :'( anyone seen it. anyone stole it. anyone anyone. it's white and nice.boohoo. i know im never going to get it back. =(


=(




=(



=(



=(





i want my mp3.




thank god there are still good poeple.special thanks going out to firdaus (especially you!! kind soul =) ) , xavier, shannon, pierong, angela, angela's friend (oops, wats his name i 4got), akshir, yvonne, junkai...without them, i think me, zhiyen, hazel, cheeyong and zaw will still be staying back to hang banners...and 3 cheers to cheeyong, hazel, zhiyen and zawiah. yeay. i feel accomplished now that the banners are all up.think this is one contribution to aj im gonna remmember for life.muahaha. like gg into the boys toilet. lotsa crappy things came out i swear. it was fun, but tiring. and my mp3.sigh. ok dont spoil this hunn.


tmr still gotta do banner.another long day.

and the most irritating thing is my contact lens. problem again.i refuse to wear specs manz.demoraliser.if there's sucha thing.haha.

went out to buker puaser with zaw and i guess mark and welyon buker puaser with us too.haha. what a tiring day. think im gonna fall aleep soon... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz


im feeling guilty now. there they are, so many people died of the earthquake at pakistan and the rest of the countries. and 5 million homeless and here i am thinking abt my mp3. maybe i dont deserve the mp3 huh. like i was destined not to have it coz im being so selfish thinking of myself when i get proper food at home, and all these comfort whereas people there, the muslims, those 5 million of them fast under those living conditions..just that short scene on news that day touched me, where one of the homelss people was saying "Allahuakhbar" inside a tent. then they showed an overview of the place there, so many tents pitched up and they were break fasting there.


this has been a bad week. hope next week's better. at least dance was fun. haha.




k.sleeping time. zzzzZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 8:57:00 pm:.
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im so pissed off.


i hate doing last minute work.but i find that im always doing last minute work. argh!


someone calm me down . maybe i need to go and take a bathe again.

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 11:01:00 pm:.
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a whole burden off my shoulders!
promos are over!!! phew.

ahh...there's so much to tell now that i've not been online for so long...
so much..
hmm, where to start.
hah.since promos are over.why not start with promos.
hmm, i THINK and i stress the word think i can manage a two AO pass and an A pass... and promote...just the grades doubt i'll be able to get it tho ya, mama surely be disappointed. but, think i've put in my best. and if that's my best then so be it right? seriously, i think i studied harder for this promos then for O levels.
ah.anyway, it's over. why talk about the past when the future awaits. cheh. muakhakhaa.

hmm, and probably the 2nd thing is maybe im going mad..seriously i think my brother and sister cant stand me anymore. haha. thank god it's only at home that i go mad. and when it's back at skl im automatically to normal mode. haha.

hmm, what else. well, basically nothing much gg on now. just trying to be as good as possible.hahah.im enjoying myself being in the good books of ppl.it feels safe.
rather than being on fights. or just not liking someone. just so wrong.

ooh,and mama has anak angkat (god son?)...two in fact.. one my age, and another one year younger. more siblings = more happiness? maybe.

oh well, there's really nothing much actually.haha. but just that, i miss so many people now. argh. its really time to meet up. this whole year has just passed through so quickly, it's already mid october. november, then december. and then it'll be 2006.yikes. i havent even done something good in 2005. argh. and the countless things of bad things. yikes again. sigh. i barely had the time to love.how sad is thaT! hahaz. or maybe the person just aint here yet. hah.that's what i wanna believe. as always. anyway, moving on, lotsa things happening even after promos. kinda pity zaw,she has sooo many things to do!! for open house...ahz. which remminds me i got so many things to settle too...haish. argh. but one thing i've learnt this year. to take things one at a time. sooner or later, everything will be ok again..the uphill will eventually result in a downhill, though going through the downhill is much faster than the uphill..that's life.

ohhh, and i have a long lost twiN!! apparently, my mum said that her fav ustaz's son looks like me! and even syukur said it. haha. maybe one day i'll meet my long lost twin..hahaz. heard he's studying in arab. which reminds me of the girl i met at the consumerism talk at pasir ris the other day.her name's rohainy i think.if im not wrong...had a talk on the journey home with her..apparently she studies at a university at arab i think.and she was on holiday.and she's studying islamic studies.i was so amazed by her stories..she was like telling me that the transport there is nmostly taxis...and it doesn't have a meter and customers pay any amt they want...of course reasonable ones..haha...and i really admire her..think she's gonna be an ustazah one day...she looks so sweet with tudung and she spoke so softly. (ahakz.i must sound like a guy) but yeaah. she's like the perfect person. wish i could be like her. but wishes are just wishes. im thankful to be where i am now. just hope i can keep in touch with her...it'll be great to have a future ustazah as a friend..ahaha...

hai.the thought of PW tmr is draining me down. hanging of cca banners better produce some fun tmr.hahaha. after spending hours just planning where to put which banner.
oh well, at least all of this is better than promos..to all those still having exams, all the best! especially to the j2s taking A levels.(lalA!) and my dearest cousin Nazira taking her Os.


**nothing really strikes me at the moment** there's no one here really.
fana said patience is a virtue to fasting. patience.



*spread the love around* the world needs more of that.

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 8:25:00 pm:.
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