today is definitely a better day. it feels so much better to talk it out after crying it out.


I LOVE MY CLASSMATES. I LOVE MY CLASS CLIQUE.haha. thank you mingna for the beautiful star. and xuemin for that postie. and nat and selina for the most-needed sms. and im sure, absolutely sure that seeming and nabing would do the same thing too if they knew anything at all. =) =)

alhamdulillah. =)

and me and zhiyen has made a vow not to quarrel anymore until at least the end of season! yes! cleared some stuff. =)


"let's just get all past all the unhappiness and just look forward ya. Whenever that's going to come our way, good or bad, we'll face it together."

im not so alone after all.




OOH. and lingXIU is on the newspapers today! sports section. check it out! =D

okie.long day tomorrow. it's time to execute some time management, and first thing's first, homework todaY! yeay!

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 7:26:00 pm:.
...
when you fall down there's only one thing you gotta do, pick yourself up.

and that's just what i did today. really with the help of some people, but i think i mostly did it on my own. which i am proud of. :D

mood fluctuated a lot today. after a horrible night yesterday, woke up today thinking as usual, hey its a brand new day. yesterday was yesterday.

but when i got to school, somehow didn't feel like being miss-i-am-strong-and-whatever-you-do-wont-take-away-the-smile-on-my-face.
i was just feeling so sad. just sad. sad. sad. yeah.no other adjectives to describe it. plain sadness in the heart, and thus lesosns passed by with my heart heavy.
oh.and i slept during gp again.
then, while shooting with jiamein, she said something that made sense.(thankx mein if you ever read this). really. as long as i noe i am doing what i am supposed to be doing.fulfilling my duties. there is no need to explain to others. i know im doing it. thats all. and thats enough. enough. i dont have to convince others. i just have to know it myselgf.yup.
felt slightly better after that. just slightly.
but i felt a whole lot better after just pouring it all out. tho in the form of tears. but after just pouring it out. its like as though a hyperactive stitch is trying to comeo ut of this small container thats suffocating him. and when he is released he just feels so free. yeah. haha. felt better. and this is thankx to MIngna. who really, didnt noe anything about anything. haha. but was just there to hug me and comfort me and say those words that i needed to hear to get me back to my usual positive self. tomorrow will be better day. life has its ups and downs. haha. so clishe. but its true. gets stuck in your brain once you repeat it over and over again, then it'll touch that broken heart and somehow it's self-healing. and so it was. so after stoning during history break, my mood started going up, though not to the max, normal self yet. during econs it started perking up more. haha. matthew and laolai make my day during econs.lol. funny people. in a good way of course. these are the little things you gotta learn how to appreciate, before one day it disappears. yeah. then i started being my lamey self. had a stupid joke/ conversation with firdaus for fun in a mat and minah way. LOL.
hanisah: firdaus, can you go malay lesson for me?
firdaus: tak leh ah, Abang nak balik.
Hanisah(follows acting): Abeh tak nak hantar I ke?
Firdaus: Tak leh, (lookk at wacth) abang busy nie
Hanisah: ALAH. Breakup laH!

MUAHAHahhaa.it was so darn funny we gave each other a high-five after dt. lol. typical minah.sikit-sikit aje nak breakup.haha.that made smile all the way to malay class.

and then, solat. met nafisah behind the hall.was talking about how acjc had NO tempat solat at all. and she wanted to get out of there because of that. haha. yeah. after solat, went to find miss tan to return her the netball ball. asked her about the friendly. she explained to me some stuff.that makes sense now. i guess when you're angry and all nothing seems to make much sense really. 90% of my anger has subsided but there's still a part of me that feel that its so unfair. that some choices only certain people have to make. some actions is only excuted by certain people. yah. but now, im ok. like i said, i've come out stronger. also in mingna's words.haha.
and im determined that i can handle it. and i wanna prove that nothing will affect my match except the fact that sometimes i get so worked up about the team's performance that it affects my own. which is what happened the last friendly, in my opinion lah.
yeah. im definitely stronger.

ok and. bridge rocks. today's topics was about the arts. it really kinda open my eyes. and somehow bridge, i really must admit that i admire these GP teachers who prepare their bridge lessons. coz somehow, it makes learning more fun and not just because its A levels. and i didnt sleep or feel like sleeping at all durring the "lecture". that shows how interesting it is right. considering that i fall asleep at least 5 mins in every lecture nowadays. hah. oops. anyway, well done to them. i really not only learnt a lot but just know more about society and things around us. more concern.ya dat kinda thing.

and here i am now feeling loads better. =)
tomorrow's a better day =)

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 8:21:00 pm:.
...
stronger than yesterday.



My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone


I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams



I walk alone
I walk alone




bring it on. be che.HAH.


on a more lighter and happier note, when i was walking into the mrt train today at bishan gg to skool, wah.someone just made my day. just by looking into my eye and like you know that split second a connection.hah.nvm. wish i'll feel it again tmr.


it's when it's breakdown time that is the time of perseverance and not to give up.

perseverance is the hard work you put in after the hard work. yeah smth like that.

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 11:30:00 pm:.
...
on behalf of you, i will get scolded.criticized.hurt.and finally breakdown and cry.



everything has a purpose and meaning.

and "everything" refers to life.

going for tuition now. really hope taufiq is in a good mood today coz i am not. :S
after effects of some stuff. sighs. i thought sleeping for 11 hours would do the job but apparently it didnt. especially after i woke up finding a freaking stupid note on my wallet.its just so mundane already. "once were warriors" maybe had abit of influence on me.hah!slightly traumatised by it. just slightly.

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 10:22:00 am:.
...
this year, so far, has been the most fulfilling exeprience that i have in my entire 17 years of life.

that's really really a lot of stuff, day by day...just pass so quickly. but i can say it's the most enriching and just to learn more about me, the people around me and simply just certain things really turn out.










gotta work harder. personal reminder: stop stoning and sleeping!!! shirong caught me stoning during the waterbreak during training just now. and she couldnt stop laughing and when i think about it now i cant stop smiling too. funny. haha. ok. so tired.

inflation test tmr. and i have not studied. tmr during break i guess.

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 10:24:00 pm:.
...
i have a piece of BRILLIANT NEWS!



im going out this SUNDAY. YES! with my dearest sister whom i havent met for donkey years. right. exaggeration.haha. i really really cant remember the last time i met her. was it the day i went to her house and just chilL? wah. that was ages ago. last year dont noe when. AHHHHH. i miss her loads and loads and i have so much to tell her, although the so much is quite bad stuff but i dont care i just wanna talk and talk and talk. haha. deprived. finally she has some $$$ so she finally asked when im free. but last week had camp. so i said this SUnday. miss her miss her. and cant wait. i dont care if i havent finished studying for testSSSS on monday i'll still go out.


yeay.

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 12:59:00 am:.
...
today's a better day. =)

after interview skills workshop went out with wilopo to eat lunch at kfc. lol. and she was telling me all these juicy stories. its nice to just lay back and relax for once. haha. conflicts. yeah. right. *shakes head* this girl ah. yea, its damn different between here in aj and over there.

poeple shouldnt know what they're not supposed to know. its bad for their health. ahhahaha. im in a lame lame mood. my poor brother. just went for operation for his teeth. pluck out his wisdom tooth or smth liddat. just cooked for him porridge. the poor guy. i shall put everything aside and take care of him la.

okie. adios.

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 2:50:00 pm:.
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im trying here ok.

when u want revenge, its written all over your face. so darn obvious i swear. your not really good at hiding things.


when ur pissed i can never get near you. you snap at me too ok when i try. so when im pissed you dont understand too. so i snap too. so we're even alright.


wah aint i pissed. really. suddenly i dont care what people think anymore. yeah, i used to care.

i keep trying and trying and freak man its not easy when u deem urself as a friend but dont act as one.really.like you care about whats gg on in my life. especially in my life at home. argh. im so pissed. and i try and i try but it neevr works. maybe im not trying hard enough huh.just dont have the energy to push trying harder that i already am. maybe its my limit. there's a limit to the amount i can take ok. sigh. let it be lah. i dont care anymore. there comes a point when it becomes so weary that all thats in you head is "buatlah ape kau nak. aku dah tak kisah lagi". translation: i dont really give a damn.do whatever u want.


why care for people who dont care? sighs.

yeah. i can feel myself changing. everybody changes. aint dat true?
i used to feel so much love, surrounding me. God i miss tk days really. now iws really empty. hollow. bitter.

argh. sometimes i just hate holidays.

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 9:37:00 pm:.
...
ward no. 155

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 6:25:00 pm:.

there's a disease in my house or something.

first my brother was sick, still is. from sunday till today and i dont noe when.

then i fell sick yest.sore throat.fever.head spinning. and while my sister took care of us both yest, she also had sore throat.

and today, she woke up with a high fever of 39 degress.

and my brother is still coughing madly.and im still having a big headache.

im praying no one else gets sick.
gonna see doctor today. =( pills.

.:enamored_hunn was pricked and bled at 7:45:00 am:.
...